keep it dark (snidegrrl) wrote,
keep it dark

  • Mood:

phucken depressed

i'll just out and say it: i'm having depressed day, and i have no idea why. it was getting incrementally worse as the weekend wore on - and it's not that i had a bad weekend - just that for some reason everything seemed bad by the end of it. i sometimes wish that if i have clinical depression, it would manifest itself in a consistent way that would indicate some kind of regular treatment. all i know is that right now i'm running on minimum energy and the things i normally like and want to do i have no enthusiasm for nor desire to undertake. i'm taking everything as bad signs instead of good signs or no signs at all. i'm glad i slept on saturday and all, keeping me to a proper overnight schedule, but it wasn't a tired sleep...

i got the most amazing charley horse friday after swimming and then taking a nap. i am still feeling the effects. my left calf has a weird knot in it that is painful. saturday night we saw road to perdition. i didn't know what it was, i just knew i wanted to be around people. i don't regret seeing it i just enjoyed the company more. jack and i stayed up talking and i told him all about my fiscal irresponsibility. i think it helped to hear his point of view on it. i'm doing better than i was, but by far not good enough. i reminded myself during this conversation that while i filed my taxes, i still have not paid them. that's gonna bite me in the ass if i don't watch it. the fact is, i have to stop spending so much. so, next time i get tempted, i have to think responsibly. we'll see how that goes.

today msteleute and i went shopping at old navy. we also had excellent thai food at a restaurant on viers mill i had never tried before. it was very, very good. later on i accidentally met bizarrojack's parents which i was not prepared for, but i think they did not hate me.

even this is not cheering me up.

here is a picture of what i kind of want my hair to look like. i also wish i were so buff as her, but heh.
Tags: depression
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