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phucken depressed

i'll just out and say it: i'm having depressed day, and i have no idea why. it was getting incrementally worse as the weekend wore on - and it's not that i had a bad weekend - just that for some reason everything seemed bad by the end of it. i sometimes wish that if i have clinical depression, it would manifest itself in a consistent way that would indicate some kind of regular treatment. all i know is that right now i'm running on minimum energy and the things i normally like and want to do i have no enthusiasm for nor desire to undertake. i'm taking everything as bad signs instead of good signs or no signs at all. i'm glad i slept on saturday and all, keeping me to a proper overnight schedule, but it wasn't a tired sleep...

i got the most amazing charley horse friday after swimming and then taking a nap. i am still feeling the effects. my left calf has a weird knot in it that is painful. saturday night we saw road to perdition. i didn't know what it was, i just knew i wanted to be around people. i don't regret seeing it i just enjoyed the company more. jack and i stayed up talking and i told him all about my fiscal irresponsibility. i think it helped to hear his point of view on it. i'm doing better than i was, but by far not good enough. i reminded myself during this conversation that while i filed my taxes, i still have not paid them. that's gonna bite me in the ass if i don't watch it. the fact is, i have to stop spending so much. so, next time i get tempted, i have to think responsibly. we'll see how that goes.

today msteleute and i went shopping at old navy. we also had excellent thai food at a restaurant on viers mill i had never tried before. it was very, very good. later on i accidentally met bizarrojack's parents which i was not prepared for, but i think they did not hate me.

even this is not cheering me up.

here is a picture of what i kind of want my hair to look like. i also wish i were so buff as her, but heh.



( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 14th, 2002 10:31 pm (UTC)
I like
I think that you would look awesome with that hair cut and that color. It's kinda like I remember you hair being, when it was short, but not as spikey.

I'm sorry that you are feeling down Snidegrrl. I have days like that a lot, not sure why the things that I like can't hold my interest and just kinda blah about everything. I hope it passes soon, but I'm sure it will.
Jul. 15th, 2002 12:20 am (UTC)
Re: I like
Thank you for the vote of confidence... I feel alot better right now than I did a little while ago... I just gotta get through the night, is all.

Are you who I think you are?
Jul. 15th, 2002 07:09 am (UTC)
Well now. The depends entirely...
...on who you think I am. I am younger than most of the poeple we hang out with. I have roughly three feet of hair (which is a very ugly shade of fadded blue, which most poeple mistake for green), and am of asian decent.
Jul. 15th, 2002 07:32 am (UTC)
Re: Well now. The depends entirely...
I kinda figured it was you right away but didn't want to ASSume. ;)
Jul. 15th, 2002 12:07 pm (UTC)
Re: Well now. The depends entirely...
Yeah, I know what you mean in regards to the pitfalls of assumption. I wish I had thought to include a description in original comment post, but was unsure how to incorperate that into a simple please feel better post.
Jul. 14th, 2002 10:55 pm (UTC)
Could be worse.

You could be old.

Like some people I could mention. :)


Good luck finding three strange days.
Jul. 15th, 2002 12:20 am (UTC)
I don't know anyone old. With the possible exception of my grandmother.

Three strange days???
Jul. 15th, 2002 05:40 am (UTC)
I'm glad you didn't include your Dad amongst the "old" people you know...................
Jul. 15th, 2002 05:42 am (UTC)
Re: Old
You're not old, so I'm not including you!!!
Jul. 15th, 2002 08:16 am (UTC)
Hehe. Sorry, arcane reference without details, Blame it on the late hour.

Three Strange Days (a reference to the song of the same name) are my own personal path to sanity. I haven't neeed them for a while, but especially when I was a single guy back in MD, things would occasionally just reach the point of sucking crushingly - not necessarily because they'd gotten bad per se, but just because I'd reached some inner threshold beyond which things were not so good.

Everyone's got a way they deal with these things. For me it was to go nomadic for a couple of days - get up early, not say a word to anyone, catch a car or bus or Metro or something out to some corner of the world I hadn't been or had only been rarely and sort of putter around, write, or whatever. Recharge the batteries. Sometimes it was only a day, sometimes it was an entire 3 day weekend.

Just wish you luck in finding whatever it is that works for you.
Jul. 16th, 2002 12:35 am (UTC)
I have had this idea many times over the past decade, but never put a name to it. I've also never executed it; that's partly because I've never had a car I felt I could trust... but you know, it's not only not a half bad idea, it's an all-good idea. Thank you for in a way giving it to me.

I believe the phrase is, "+praise Three Strange Days".

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )