keep it dark (snidegrrl) wrote,
keep it dark

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should i be worried?

i just went back into my journal for the past few months to see if there was anything incriminating, because i sent my dad the URL. there wasn't. i guess i'm already terribly censorious.

today i spent not sleeping, but making mix cds. (i decided that the radio was not providing me with enough drama. so i decided to make the ultimate melodrama mix. see below if you are into that kind of thing.) during this process, i started to think... have my emotions been dulled with time and bitter experiences? my mother always told me that i would calm down as i got older, and when she told me this was usually at times when i was bawling and gnashing my teeth over my latest romantic escapade. so it's good that i'm not bawling and gnashing my teeth, which is terrific, because that was completely counter-productive, but do i have less to offer on the positive side now? probably it was just pointless speculation and over-analysis, but i do strive to retain brightness and intensity in my world. maybe i should just shut up and go take some acid. :) particularly if i'm not sleeping anyways. oh, yeah, and the fucked up thing about not sleeping was that i had taken an antihistamine. this is 3 days in a row. i wonder if you can adjust to it. the one i was taking before was Diphenhydramine (Sominex) and the past 3 days i have been taking Doxylamine Succinate (Unisom). i'll have to look into that tonight; it looks like i've got nothing but time.

so later on telf cooked the steak and also made some homemade real-potato french fries, and she and denise and i settled in to watch some awful, awful anime. this time it was something called VanDread, the plot being supposedly about how men and women have been living on seperate planets for 3 generations and considering each other aliens and enemies. it has all the expected gender conflict and obnoxious innuendo. it even has a character named Bosom. in one light, it's amusing, and in another frightening. it didn't turn me off my steak, so hey. i tried to take a nap after dinner and mostly failed. it'll be another coffee night, methinks. but hopefully this means that during the day i will need none of the aforementioned chemical assistance to sleep.

i noticed, also, over the past few weeks, the incredible power of U2. i have 7 stations i flip through on the radio looking for something to sing along with in the car, and there is only one of those stations that doesn't play U2, and i can't say that i'm 100% sure that 99.5 doesn't play them from time to time too. i certainly hear more U2 than i ever do beatles or madonna in an average week of listening to the radio (approx 12-16 hours, i'd say). i've gone through two bouts of complete detestation of U2 and both times (once in junior high school, when all my friends were daydreaming in math class about having Larry's love children and once for 2 years after i broke up with someone who listened exclusive to U2 and no other band) i have come back from my hate of the band with renewed enthusiasm. that's powerful. now, i'd buy their albums, if i didn't get enough of them on the radio...

Love Songs I

Bryan Adams - Heaven
Guns N Roses - Patience
Kevin Gilbert - When You Give Your Love to Me
Hunters and Collectors - Throw Your Arms Around Me
Peter Murphy - Hit Song
Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water
Rick Astley - When I Fall in Love
Monkees - Sometime in the Morning
Meat Loaf - Heaven Can Wait
Lifehouse - Everything
David Gray - Please Forgive Me
Crowded House - When You Come
Cat Stevens - How Can I Tell You
Beatles - I Will

Love Songs II (or, everything that didn't make it on the first cd)

Tattle Tale - Glass Vase Cello Case
Londonbeat - I’ve Been (Thinkin’ about You)
Paul Young - Every Time You Go Away
Simple Minds - Don’t You Forget About Me
Sting - Be Still My Beating Heart
Simon and Garfunkel - Kathy’s Song
Rent Cast - One Song Glory
Mavericks - All The Heaven Will Allow
Matthew Sweet - I’ve Been Waiting
Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah
Danny Wilson - I Can’t Wait
Crash Test Dummies - Comin’ Back Soon (The Bereft Man’s Song)
Butchies - Love In The Hour
Badly Drawn Boy - Once Around the Block
George Harrison - This is Love
Tags: music
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