keep it dark (snidegrrl) wrote,
keep it dark

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night so slow

hello. it's 3:48 according to my clock, and it seems like i can feel my hair growing.

so. i love as well as hate going to the 7-11 at 3am; for one thing, if there's anyone in there, they are almost guaranteed to be a character. for example, tonight, there was the guy who was haranguing the african guy manning the counter about his visa and how it's not fair that he has to work at a 7-11 when "the indians" as he put it get to work the cushy tech jobs because their visas stipulate that they have to find a job in that sector. he kept saying something about an "H8" which i have no idea about. still, the guy obviously wasn't buying anything, and obviously wasn't a friend of the counter guy. and while i enjoy the chatter you can sometimes hear in the 7-11 at three in the morning, i hate the stench. i don't remember all 7-11's having this stench in them, but recently it seems like every 7-11 i go into smells like the inside of a dumpster. not really an appetizing place to get my food, but it's that or the vending machine and i didn't have but one dollar bill in my walleto. oh, and did oyu know that Arizona iced tea is made in, well, Canada?

we've had a few false alarms tonight, and alot of other groups seem to be doing maintenance, but other than that it's one of those nights that nothing happens and it almost seems a waste to have double coverage.

i haven't been making much progress on my various long-term goals. it's been very day-to-day for me, but i must say that for the past week or so, that's been an acceptable and enjoyable way to live. sometimes i get down on myself about it, but that's more because it's well known to me that i have a long history of ignoring the big picture at times. i have to remember that realistically, i'm much better off now than i was 2 years ago, and better then than 5 years ago. i'm not putting myself on the path to fame and glory. i've never been one-hundred percent convinced that's what i wanted, or i'm sure i would be on that path now. :)

i'm very lucky and blessed. but that's not all it takes for happiness... at least i can tell i'm not depressed, because then i'd be saying, "what's happiness? i don't even know anymore."

this morning i'm going to take a nap, then wake up and do some crafting, then go home and take another nap. then back here, for more of... this??? alright. maybe i'll remember and bring my CCNA book and hell, just read it, and sign up for the test.

i want to be worth it.
Tags: introspection, work
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