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I have been torturing myself all afternoon looking at french bulldog rescue sites. (I would like to note that the very words "forever family" are well designed to evoke spouts of tears from me.)

This is sort of in opposition to my week's goal of separating myself from desire.

The slogan I flipped to monday night in The Key: And the Name of the Key is Willingness was

It is easier to want what you get than to get what you want.

I have been thinking about this from a point of view of seeing what I have and what I get over the course of the week, and wanting that. The part I am having a hard time with is when wanting comes up, because I am a person who often lives through desire and expression of desire. So when the afternoon got slow, I thought about looking for things I want, or looking for things TO want.

There are exercise questions in the book. The first one stumps me:

How do you determine what you want?

How do I determine what I want? My kneejerk answer to that is, "I don't know, I just want it". I haven't really figured out how to get beyond that kneejerk reaction yet.

The questions that follow are easier.

How do you feel and act when you get what you want?
How do you feel and act when you don't get what you want?

When I get what I want, I am momentarily relieved. Then I determine what my next want is, and focus on wanting whatever it is I want. When I do not get what I want, I go on wanting or let go. But even if I let go, I quickly determine what I want next, and commence wanting that. Much of this very journal is dedicated to loving paeans to things I want or experiences I want to have, so I am sure this comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me. (I have a tag devoted to "stuff", for crying out loud.) I don't really expect this sort of thinking to disappear just yet, but I'd like to start by being aware. With a smidgen of the aforementioned wanting what I get.

Then the kicker:

What do you give up in order to cling to your notions about what you want?

And the answer to this last one is very easy. I give up the present. In other words, I give up everything I have.



( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 17th, 2006 10:10 pm (UTC)
Maybe it would be more meaningful, for me, if I could enjoy more fully the things I get.
Nov. 17th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)
I mean, that thought crossed my mind too. But I don't think that's what the author is getting at. I haven't fully thought it through yet. I doubt I will ever be devoid of ambitions and wants. The pain of desire is part of the human condition, perhaps. But for me I think too much revolves around attending to and listening to wants.
Nov. 17th, 2006 10:18 pm (UTC)
I give up the present. In other words, I give up everything I have.
Yeah, I get that. You're a very smart person and you help me all the time. So you must be nice and stuff too.
Nov. 17th, 2006 10:33 pm (UTC)
*blush* I am glad it makes any sense at all. Or speaks to someone. Thank you. :)

You might remember this:

The first words that are read by seekers of enlightenment in the secret, gong-banging, yeti-haunted valleys near the hub of the world, are when they look into The Life of Wen the Eternally Surprised.

The first question they ask is: 'Why was he eternally surprised?'

And they are told: 'Wen considered the nature of time and understood that the universe is, instant by instant, recreated anew. Therefore, he understood, there is in truth no past, only a memory of the past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, he said, the only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.'
Nov. 17th, 2006 10:42 pm (UTC)
You always make sense to me. You and I are on a stangely parallel road and I appreciate you so much.

And yeah, Wen had it right, I just wish it was always that easy. Right now I feel like I'm waiting on an ending to start a begining.
Nov. 17th, 2006 10:30 pm (UTC)
What keeps me from wanting things is that I can't afford them. Ok, that doesn't mean the wanting urge goes away, but I hardly ever act on it.

I don't know if I could think as deeply as you do. I asked myself how I determine what I want, and my mind went Ooo, shiny thing over there and I forgot all about my thought process.

Thanks for looking at doggie rescues btw. :)

Nov. 17th, 2006 10:35 pm (UTC)
I am so not that deep. You just weren't here for the "month of posts about what kind of car Kim wants". :)

Someday I might rescue a doggie, but right now I think the kitties would object too strenuously. Actually I think just one of them would. ;)
Nov. 17th, 2006 10:49 pm (UTC)
It is easier to want what you get than to get what you want.

Wow, that is a brilliant little statement.

On the one hand, be happy with what you get. (be happy with your accomplishments)

On the other hand, its easy to be content with what you have, but don't forget to have a fire in your belly and strive for something.

I'll use both hands, thank you very much. :) I'm taking this in a much more general context than material things though, so I might be jumping the rails here.
Nov. 18th, 2006 04:26 am (UTC)
I thought of the second hand as well. I feel I've been fired up in my belly an awful lot over the past few years but I need to focus it. I'm all over the place!

And it is very much not just about material things! It's just that I happened to be thinking somewhat about material things when I wrote the post. :)
Nov. 17th, 2006 11:12 pm (UTC)
We are so different, Kim! I love reading your posts because my gut reactions all seem to go in different directions than yours! Also, the worlds "forever family" make me very nervous and slightly nauseated.... Please, think of the kitties!
Nov. 18th, 2006 05:10 am (UTC)
Cheri Huber rocks. So many good books, all basically saying the same thing but in different and interesting ways. I really liked That Which You Are Seeking is Causing You to Seek.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


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