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from Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

"...heterosexual relationships seem to lead only to marriage, and for most poor dumb brainwashed women marriage is the climatic experience. for men, marriage is a matter of efficient logistics: the male gets his food, bed, laundry, tv, pussy, offspring, and creature comforts all under one roof, where he doesn't have to dissipate his psychic energy thinking about them too much -- then he is free to go out and fight the battles of life, which is what existence is all about. but for a woman, marriage is surrender. marriage is when a girl gives up the fight, walks off the battlefield, and from then on leave the truly interesting and significant action to her husband, who has bargained to 'take care' of her. what a sad bum deal. women live longer than men because they really haven't been living. better blue-in-the-face dead of a heart attack at fifty than a healthy seventy-year-old widow who hasn't had a piece of life's action since girlhood..."

thanks to the person who sent me this quote.



( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 17th, 2002 12:04 pm (UTC)
Ouch. Though I am still bitter about my relationship collapse, I'd say that it isn't that bad, and it doesn't have to be anything like this at all. It is good to note that it can end up this way if both partners let it. I think it's even better for the male if the relationship does not end up like this, but something more balanced. To be fair, I must admit that I may never get married again. Marrage is entered into way to commonly for the weight that it holds for most people.
May. 17th, 2002 02:17 pm (UTC)
I think that is a horrific statement that was probably said by a feminist who believes that our society is so male-centric that woman can't possibly have any sort of freedom at the hands of their male-counter parts. I'm sad that someone has said this. It is an over dramatized and stereo-typed statement about relationships based on a 1950s view of the perfect woman. Since then we have NOW and other Rights Movements to get us closer to our equalized dreams of philosophy, society etc. I think marriage is a wonderful thing. Do I do all of the house work and cooking? You bet. Why? Because I don't have a job and my husband is supporting me. If I was the bread winner and he didn't have a job would I expect they same thing? Hells yes. if we were both working, where would that leave us? Us doing equal shares. Maybe I got really lucky and that the majority of relationships out there are not as equally distributed as mine own. I weep for those people. You don't know what you're missing.
May. 18th, 2002 12:20 pm (UTC)
Re: Wow.
I'm sorry now that I posted this without some kind of caveat; I should mave added my comments into the actual post, really. I will say right now, that I don't personally believe that all marriage is bad. My parents have been married for 32 years, and I have nothing but admiration for their accomplishment in that and the level of dedication AND the even handed way they have worked things out so that everyone is happy. I believe that that can happen for other people, in other times and today. In no way was this an attack on their marriage or any other marriages that are successful and that involve a succesful and profitable social contract for everyone involved. I can see now how it could clearly be interpreted like that, and I knew it was inflammatory when I posted it, but I meant it more in the personal sense for me; I'm seriously doubting I will ever get married. Not even necessarily for the reasons above.

And yes; this was written in the early 70s I think, but by a guy. Tom Robbins or whatever the hell his name is.

And finally, I am really happy for you and Shawn. I don't believe for a second that you have a situation remotely like the one depicted above. I was completely sincere when I came to your reception and raised a glass in your honor; I only wish I could be so lucky as to find someone I trust and that trusts me and with whom I can feel that comfortable.

This is not to distract from the fact that I think that many people have some way whack ideas when it comes to marriage. Like, "once we get married these problems will go away" for example. Oh, yeah, I've never thought that one... heh. At any rate, I'm sorry I didn't include these caveats when I posted the quote; I was feeling pretty mercenary at the time. :(

May. 17th, 2002 02:34 pm (UTC)
"I think the pronouncement that 'All women are evil' is on the first page of the 'How To Run Like Hell' handbook. Good lord." -Carolyn Hax

The converse is also true. And the morale of the Hax quote is, generalizations never work, and prejudices are a bad idea.

Mind you, you know this, and I'm sounding patronizing. I just like fighting quotes with quotes.

(As a side note, I've been saving the above quote for a certain friend of ours. I will let you guess who. :}
May. 18th, 2002 12:23 pm (UTC)
I was not saying that all men are evil. Tom Robbins was, though. And I didn't make it clear that I wasn't agreeing wholeheartedly with everything he was saying.
May. 18th, 2002 12:25 pm (UTC)
Oh, and my picture is in chapter 7 of the "When to Run Like Hell" handbook. Or it should be.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )