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Pre-Preg!

Ladies, Your attention please.

I wish I could repost all the immensely hilarious comments on this article my friends have been bandying about, but for now I'll just say:

Ha, Jack, you sucka! You have to clean the catbox forevermore!!!

Now I'm gonna go burn up some tobacco "to pre-stunt my pre-zygote's growth", to quote a friend. Paging Dr. Atwood, indeed.

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Comments

( 82 comments — Leave a comment )
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dissonant_etak
May. 16th, 2006 08:47 pm (UTC)
you really need to get over this whole "my body belongs to me" idea. you exist to be impregnated and further the species. now go make jack a sandwich.
judithiscariot
May. 16th, 2006 08:50 pm (UTC)
mmm sandwich
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turbogrrl
May. 16th, 2006 08:51 pm (UTC)
I'm going to go back to banging my head against a wall now.

tubals, anyone? anyone? while they're still legal?
snidegrrl
May. 16th, 2006 08:56 pm (UTC)
Other ladies have been sharing their surgeons' names and addresses, and if anyone wants to do so right here, go right ahead!
wasabi_poptart
May. 16th, 2006 08:51 pm (UTC)
ahem ...
snidegrrl
May. 16th, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC)
GODWIN FTW
HEE
(Deleted comment)
snidegrrl
May. 16th, 2006 09:00 pm (UTC)
It really cheeses me off that a panel of people who don't know me and probably don't give a shit about are trying to tell me what I need to do take care of me.

But, you know, not because they want you to be okay or feel better in the long run, or anything.

I'm thinking that in my pre-death state, I'd better watch out for any pregnancies because I hear they can be risky.
(Deleted comment)
keryx
May. 17th, 2006 02:02 am (UTC)
That is exactly what I said!
msteleute
May. 16th, 2006 09:05 pm (UTC)
Kim I have some shocking news for you..sit down.
You're pre-pregnant.
snidegrrl
May. 16th, 2006 09:08 pm (UTC)
OH my GOD. You could knock me over with a feather. BUT PLEASE DON'T!!! It might stress out my body which is quivering in wait to recieve the blessed gift of life*!

*cause surely I don't have one without preg-potential!
zenthia
May. 16th, 2006 09:30 pm (UTC)
This is just the media taking good medical practice out of the context! We medical professionals do think about women as pre-pregnant even though you very well may never get pregnant - or may intend to terminate it, which means it's totally not a problem. But we have ABSOLUTELY NO WAY OF KNOWING that, because you lie to us alllll the time. And that's fine, lying makes the world go round, if people didn't lie, we'd all be dead in a generation. So don't go nuts over this, it's really not a big deal, and you don't have to listen to your doctor anyway, but it IS a good way to generalize, because accidents happen, people either decide to keep the kid (yay, choice!) or don't have access to termination (Boo, no choice) and babies get born with problems. And a vitamin might correct your iron deficiency or folate deficiency and then you'll feel better anyway, and it's not going to hurt you!

Changing the literbox is fine if you're not pregnant, it's only primary toxoplasmosis infections that are really dangerous, and if you get it before you're pregnant, you aren't going to have a primary infection while preggers!

And as for sterilization, vasectomy is outpatient and much much safer and less painful, so neuter your men instead of getting a tubal!
professorbooty
May. 16th, 2006 09:41 pm (UTC)
...
And as for sterilization, vasectomy is outpatient and much much safer and less painful, so neuter your men instead of getting a tubal!

I love my sweet, sweet vasectomy!
(no subject) - snidegrrl - May. 16th, 2006 09:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
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oh, but it's such a lovely rant!! - kitty_pitchfork - May. 17th, 2006 03:10 am (UTC) - Expand
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professorbooty
May. 16th, 2006 09:41 pm (UTC)
...
Seems like a useful trojan horse for the anti-abortion movement to me.
snidegrrl
May. 16th, 2006 09:42 pm (UTC)
Re: ...
Bingo.
forestdweller
May. 16th, 2006 09:45 pm (UTC)
Well, this all means I'm looking into elective surgery...
angela_la_la
May. 16th, 2006 10:26 pm (UTC)
Pre-pregnant. Christ on a bike. I'm also chronically pre-dead but I prefer not to be handled like a corpse.
frecklefaerie
May. 16th, 2006 10:28 pm (UTC)
zing!
(no subject) - asimplelife - May. 16th, 2006 10:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gorthx - May. 17th, 2006 03:47 am (UTC) - Expand
frecklefaerie
May. 16th, 2006 10:28 pm (UTC)
You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I'm stunned.
asimplelife
May. 16th, 2006 10:36 pm (UTC)
Just call me Handmaid Tara.
zorah
May. 17th, 2006 03:15 am (UTC)
oh now see, you have to have a name derived from the one who impregnates you, like Offred, of-fred. You could be Ofjoe or Ofsam or Offeorge, but there you go assuming you have an identity.
(no subject) - angela_la_la - May. 17th, 2006 03:36 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - asimplelife - May. 17th, 2006 03:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
oontzgrrl
May. 16th, 2006 10:40 pm (UTC)
So does this mean I am supposed to stop standing really close to the microwave in my never ending attempt at fun and interesting sterilization techniques?

Man, even if I DID want babies, I wouldn't want to live my whole life like I was pregnant. That would be lame.
snidegrrl
May. 17th, 2006 01:15 am (UTC)
Can you imagine, instead of waiting for that next drink until you're done breastfeeding, waiting for that next drink UNTIL MENOPAUSE???

Yeah. Me either.
(no subject) - oontzgrrl - May. 17th, 2006 01:49 am (UTC) - Expand
gorthx
May. 16th, 2006 10:41 pm (UTC)
That's a big W T F from over here.

I'm sterile, do I still get treated as pre-pregnant? Sheesh.
snidegrrl
May. 17th, 2006 01:14 am (UTC)
Nah, you can just smoke yourself into the grave for all we care. >.
leenacia
May. 16th, 2006 11:51 pm (UTC)
That shit pissed me off when it was just the March of Dimes pushing it. Go above and beyond in case I become pregnant? Um, no. Don't think so. Fucking national guidelines? Hell no.

I also love how they aren't issuing any guidelines for men, even though there are things they can do to promote good sperm health and, you know, they are actually fairly capable of impregnating a woman at any time, unlike how a woman's fertility goes in cycles.
snidegrrl
May. 17th, 2006 01:16 am (UTC)
Word.
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