It's unfortunate that directly after that weekend everything went to hell.
Last weekend I did get to participate in many xmas-related events; tree trimming with Jack's fam, the big annual friend party with the singing of the MST3K carols, and an actual trip to the actual mall for actual christmas shopping (most of mine was online).
And the truth is that everything has not gone to hell. I spend just enough time with music and thinking about music that it gives me hope and makes me feel better. Work turning to shit has been tough, it's hurt alot of other areas of my life, and made my tooth-gnashingly grumpy more often than not, but I've done the best I can and there's something to that. I just hope to be able to regain the forward momentum I had in all those other areas of my life once things calm down a little. Most specifically, to nail down whether I'm applying to UMB for fall of '06 and getting all the myriad details of that set. I do get to have my week off after Christmas largely due to sacrifice on someone else's part, and I plan to spend it yeah, having fun, but also knocking things off the to-do list and getting some perspective.
Am I in the holiday spirit? A little. In certain ways. I feel way, way too isolated to really be socially generous and outgoing. The work thing sent me into "get through this" mode and since the real deadline for everything is January 2, that means the "get through this" mood is being involuntarily applied to the actual holidays and my actual time off. I've been saying to people: "$VP ruined Christmas" and when I say it, that's what I mean. Maybe I will be able to let it go, I hope so.
I do love my friends and I do feel some special warmth from certain corners. I'm grateful to those of you who emailed me and to Trace who let me unload on her a little and to Jody for being universally supportive about work and for making those cheese balls. ^_^
Books finished: Genesis Inside & Out by Robin Platts
Books in progress (still): Shakey (the Neil Young bio) and Ulysses
Netflix: working on Freaks and Geeks, Babatunde Olatunji's african drumming
WoWarcraft: Finally felt like getting back into this, mostly want to be playing the level 12 hunter.
Drums: Working on rock beat 5 & 6, paradiddles. Need to spend more time. 1+ hours a day.