keep it dark (snidegrrl) wrote,
keep it dark
snidegrrl

  • Mood:
I went rock climbing on sunday with zenthia, mpeg2tom, Carla, and Jack. Although, calling it that is a bit misleading; it's wall climbing, with the assistance of ropes and plastic doodads screwed into said wall. The place is called Earth Treks. I woke up in a cold sweat several hours early, and told Jack as much. I explained to him that basically I was having classic gym class fears; I'm going to have to climb the baby walls and everyone's going to laugh at me. And let's not even get into the body image issues. You KNOW rock climber types are all svelte tiny wiry people. The facts of the matter turned out: Yes, I had to climb the baby walls. No one laughed at me out loud. Body image issues disappeared because I was way too busy FREAKING OUT due to a possibly genetically inherited fear of heigts. Yes I know that there's someone belaying. Yes I know the auto-belay has gently laid thousands of people back down on the floor sans injury. That doesn't stop me from bursting into paniced tears when I'm 30 feet in the air and look down. I don't even think I got 30 feet up. I did climb to the top of the baby walls; not without bursting into tears both times though. Strangely enough, I want to go back, because it was a really good workout and even if people were laughing at me they were polite enough to do it inwardly. This is something I am willing to be uncompetitive about because it's clear I'm not going to be that great at it. Also: short arms and legs. Not so helpful.

Last night I had a dream that I couldn't find Jack's cereal at the grocery store. And the grocery store was the approximate size and shape of a home depot. judithiscariot was trying to help me. Then I dreamed I gleeked on someone and they were mad. I was sad to wake up to discover, no, I still can't do it.

Ooops I gotta run!
Tags: dream, fear
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