as always, when i go home, i return with a deep sense of well-being and groundedness. i got to listen to some old music that i really like and had forgotten about - my cassette of this band melted long ago - and went through some boxes that yielded some interesting personal history finds. i wouldn't be surprised if some portions of the letters i found that i had written to dale before i left for college found their way on here in a 'oh my god, i can't believe i said this' way. reading the bits i read was like watching a train wreck; watching me set myself up for a fall. i had a nervous breakdown the first week of college. i didn't really recover for... years, i'd say. so it's really precious to me to have this direct snapshot of my mental state immediately before everything fell apart. even if it's not flattering.
pet peeve of the day: people who put on lipstick or makeup right at the table in the middle of the restaurant. it pisses me off for 2 reasons: reason one, EW. reason two, why the hell is it so urgent to cover yourself up with goop AS SOON AS the goop has come off for something practical like eating? i mean, it's so urgent you can't wait 2 minutes to go to the bathroom, or 10 minutes until you're in your car alone, not where people are eating? and news flash: you may have to eat again, the goop will just come off again. sheez. i have had occasions where i have had to re-apply, but i usually try to demurely slip off to the bathroom. it's WHY they came up with the expression 'i have to powder my nose'.
the past few days have been right fine. i took last night off of work because i had not slept; i wouldn't have survived the night. my cat got toenail clippers and a laser pointer as a reward for undergoing the toenail clipping. although, he purred through it, so it wasn't so bad. since sunday afternoon, happiness rules. i should just say the things on my mind all the time; it's not as difficult as i sometimes think it is.
there's a concert i am not going to tomorrow. i am sad yet ok about it. there will be other opportunities for synchronous musical joy... (synchronous is not the work i am looking for... it's like, partnerial, but yet that isn't a word. what word am i looking for?)
have you seen Milo and Otis? you should. i have the opening song in my head. at least it's replaced the kipper song. sigh. the dog with a slipper.
i have also decided that a respectable goal to accomplish the idea of physical fitness is found in the admission requirements for officer training school for the military. they expect the follwing of someone of my age and gender: 50 situps in 2 minutes, 17 push-ups in 2 minutes, and a 2 mile run in 20:30. i will officially see how close i can get to this this week. probably nowhere near. i get winded running up the stairs. if anyone is interested in trying this with me, more power to them, i'll be working on it when i get off work or at approximately that time on my weekends. most normal people are working then, though.