keep it dark (snidegrrl) wrote,
keep it dark

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I am totally spending my morning being nostalgic and rating all my teachers from college. (The ones I remember anyways...) This is so freaking cool! It is making me wistful for classes, though. All the regret for the time I wasted being a dumbass while I was there, when I could have been getting the education I was paying for (and still am) just comes washing back. Ooh I should find that english professor who taught primal scream therapy and give him all 1s. Whee!!! They sure didn't have anything like this in my day - it makes me feel kind of dinosaurish, but in that superior, walked-uphill-both-ways-in-the-snow kind of way.

Next up: figuring out what to use as a replacement for "comfort food". I had NO IDEA how powerfully I used food as a comfort, how so much of my eating was psychological. I sit here at my desk and know I would feel better if I had a Snickers bar. Not because I'm hungry - but because it's a moment of pleasure in an otherwise non-pleasurable day. So I have to find something to comfort me. Not a cigarette - ew. I'm tired of being stinky, the stink cancels out any pleasure I might get from the 5 minutes of consumption. Does it need to be consuming? Do I simply need to know how best to occupy my mind, like planning for something cool? Would I gnaw on terrible snacks less if I worked harder? It's mind over matter, I can see this now. Probably if I even had the stimulus of music it would help. I'm not posting this to ask for rah-rah encouragement. No rah-rah huggles for me please.

Today: back on the DDR. Might go to B'more this evening. Spontaneity!!

[edit] Erm... hrm. Maybe I didn't explain myself well. I don't want a replacement pacifier, I don't want another thing to consume... I want to find something that makes me feel good that is not food. I am of course sitting here thinking about exercise - perhaps I need to do calisthenics at my desk, or take more walks or something. You all have me thinking just not in the same direction. :)
Tags: health, nostalgia
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