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when i started this shift i was doing really well! i was all, la la, things will be ok even though i have procrastinated, listening to semisonic secret smile etc, and now i just feel a dull ache of anger and a strong desire to hole up in my room which is really way, way too prevalent lately. rar, no one is like me, i am a unique and ugly snowflake, blah blah moody bullshit. i feel like i need to clean out my blood.

it looks like the cat held me, and not the other way around. how did he get orangey fur on every single part of this shirt?

an ex once asked me to justify myself. it was his thing, he asked people to justify themselves to him. i don't feel like i could right now. i mean, not to him, but to myself. citizen XXX-XX-XXXX state your purpose: _______________

i blame the norfolk academy alumni bulletin!!!!!!!!! not myself. no, no it could never be my own damn fault.

Comments

( 35 comments — Leave a comment )
zenthia
Sep. 23rd, 2003 04:10 am (UTC)
You're a unique and beautiful snowflake! Maybe a snowball... "Skylight" flavor.... With marshmellow on it... Mmmmmm.....
snidegrrl
Sep. 23rd, 2003 06:17 am (UTC)
marshmallow on a snowball would taste weird. ;)
(no subject) - zenthia - Sep. 23rd, 2003 08:19 am (UTC) - Expand
martinhesselius
Sep. 23rd, 2003 04:23 am (UTC)
::Hugs::
snidegrrl
Sep. 23rd, 2003 06:17 am (UTC)
Thanks hon. :)
(no subject) - martinhesselius - Sep. 23rd, 2003 06:19 am (UTC) - Expand
dissonant_etak
Sep. 23rd, 2003 05:06 am (UTC)
people who outright require you to "justify yourself" to them need to be shot, imho.
snidegrrl
Sep. 23rd, 2003 05:42 am (UTC)
lots and lots of people felt that way about this ex.
(no subject) - cheetahmaster - Sep. 23rd, 2003 06:16 am (UTC) - Expand
swartzdk
Sep. 23rd, 2003 05:15 am (UTC)
Justification
A person NEVER needs to justify themselves to anyone, period. anyone who asks is a real control freak. As for the Acadamy they always left me on the short end of the social stick as well. Considering people like Yu-Sun and Drew the short end of the stick is not really a bad place to be.
snidegrrl
Sep. 23rd, 2003 05:44 am (UTC)
Re: Justification
well, you-know-who did have a tad of the controller in him, as i am sure you recall.

i'm not sure it's the social stick i'm worried about, more of the achievement stick in general.

i am wondering if mary will be at the reunion, but i really, really doubt it.
ex_nostradom25
Sep. 23rd, 2003 05:41 am (UTC)
I hear that.
One feels polluted after a while, feeling like they have no justification for themselves. Totally understood. *nod*

I won't get into the aside that people who ask others to justify themselves to them have issues. lol
snidegrrl
Sep. 23rd, 2003 06:16 am (UTC)
Re: I hear that.
One feels polluted after a while, feeling like they have no justification for themselves. Totally understood.

Yeah - It's a "big picture" type problem that isn't going to get solved in a day. Sadly, I use that reasoning to procrastinate: "Well, it isn't going to get solved today, so I can goof off and play Diablo II a bit more."
ROFL - ex_nostradom25 - Sep. 23rd, 2003 06:22 am (UTC) - Expand
prakriti
Sep. 23rd, 2003 05:44 am (UTC)
adfhafdgafhasdhadhgasdhJustify

your response to that request should be "BUT I HATE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!"

adgajhdgasdgajsd
snidegrrl
Sep. 23rd, 2003 06:15 am (UTC)
Hee... at the time I didn't know who Justin Timberlake was!
(no subject) - prakriti - Sep. 23rd, 2003 07:53 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snidegrrl - Sep. 23rd, 2003 09:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
snidegrrl
Sep. 23rd, 2003 06:14 am (UTC)
Silly me, instead I got engaged to him. Where were you when I needed this advice???
(no subject) - dharshai - Sep. 24th, 2003 01:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snidegrrl - Sep. 26th, 2003 06:55 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - dharshai - Sep. 26th, 2003 09:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snidegrrl - Sep. 29th, 2003 09:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
necrocannibal
Sep. 23rd, 2003 06:33 am (UTC)
BWARGH! don't feel bad. if i find out who made you feel bad they've got a punch in the nose coming.
snidegrrl
Sep. 23rd, 2003 09:12 pm (UTC)
some days, walking out the front door makes me feel bad. little can be done about this. but thank you. :)
rubinpdf
Sep. 23rd, 2003 12:31 pm (UTC)
You really ought to see the Red Dwarf Episode,
The Inquisitor. It's the second episode in season five and was the first thing I thought of when you said you needed to justify yourself.

The Inquisitor, a time travelling self repairing android decides that the only purpose in existence is to lead a worthwhile life. Travelling through time, and judging every living being in creation, he arrives on Red Dwarf. Once there he forces the crew to justify their existence.
snidegrrl
Sep. 23rd, 2003 09:12 pm (UTC)
i think that may even be where he pulled the line from!
(no subject) - bizarrojack - Sep. 23rd, 2003 09:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snidegrrl - Sep. 23rd, 2003 09:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bizarrojack - Sep. 23rd, 2003 10:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snidegrrl - Sep. 23rd, 2003 10:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
edamame
Sep. 23rd, 2003 11:16 pm (UTC)
The whole notion of trying to define a person's purpose has got a MBM song stuck in my head which is actually calld "No Purpose No Design." I tried to find a lyrics database to pull up the lyrics, but so far no luck.

So I've queued it up on my iPod now and am bopping away as I write this. Gotta <3 technology.

I'm sorry, this comment has almost no relevance to your original post whatsoever.... Carry on.
snidegrrl
Sep. 24th, 2003 12:04 am (UTC)
comment away! i don't mind a bit.

MBM? oh wait, meat beat manifesto? see, i do kind of know what those crazy kids today listen to. ;)
miss_blu
Sep. 24th, 2003 09:16 pm (UTC)
Aye, justify yourself - to yourself, at random moments in the day. Decisions and thought patterns take re-evaluation periodically, but only for you (as you were the person who made the decision and followed the thought pattern)...self-questioning means that you're an intelligent person, and you care.

Asking someone to justify themselves to you is a pointless exercise, as you'll only judge them on your own terms anyway...and therefore be justifying yourself. Hmmm....;-)

Sorry to be commenting randomly in your journal!
snidegrrl
Sep. 26th, 2003 06:54 am (UTC)
i have no problem with random comments! i like them! :)
( 35 comments — Leave a comment )

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