(necrocannibal might want to be checking out that link above. just sayin'.)
[edit: on a more serious note, here is the latest on Amina Lawal from CNN. if you don't know, she is the woman who was sentenced under Nigerian shariah law to be buried up to her neck and stoned to death for adultery. i wish i could come up with words that demonstrated how i feel about this, but really i am speechless at the concept, and unable to imagine a society that works like that.]
i have to face the fact that in all likeliness, until i hit menopause, i will feel as i did in those few days before the hospital once a month. my cramps do something to aggravate the diverticulosis and it just adds more angst and pain to an already yucky few days that just happen to occur every month. in the shower today it occurred to me that if i ever end up pregnant, i wonder if there will be some kind of risk involved, with the adorable little parasite pressing down on my intestines. it provoked fear in me. i can't tell if that's because i'm worried that my partner will be soured on me someday because of my diminished capacity to have babies, or if i will be unhappy someday because i can't have babies. all this knowing that probably, i can have babies. most people have to work alot harder to not have them. and also, it's one thing to not be able to have babies because of some infertility that you have no real control over, but another thing to not be able to have them because of a medical condition you brought on yourself with your poor eating habits. i suppose i could curtail all this speculation simply by asking a doctor, i'm just not going to make a whole appointment just to find out.