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inner monologue on the metro

haha, my bag is more awesome than yours. and yours. ooh, and yours, ugh that is made of plastic! where did you get that, value city? please. huh. lady, how the hell do you walk around all day in those shoes? you have the surface area of a gnat's ass to balance on. jesus. you too! i must be lacking in some crucial shoe skill. uh, i should read. but that guy's face.... weird. oh my god he has no eye! in the left socket! NO EYE NO EYE NO EYE... uh stop staring! stop staring! STOP STARING! i'm reading. reading reading... hey... what's on that book? does that actually say sisters and lovers? is it about sister-lovers? because that would be something interesting to read over someone's... damn, it's not. dude, did you just leave your newspaper all over the seat? ass. hey are you looking at me? ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME? oh, you think i'm looking at you. because i am... la la la i wasn't looking, i was reading! reading reading reading... holy shit, girlfriend, i know that she stepped to you, and your girls had your back, but maybe you could explain it a little bit more quietly. oh, she's only going to get louder. jesus, we can hear you! awwww hey! look at the little old man! he has his arm around his wife. that is the most precious thing ever. i wonder if i will be riding the metro around when i'm like 80. i wonder if they need help reading the map. i could ask but ... nah they would think i was a psycho... i want to know where that woman got her pants! those are the best pants ever! lady lady lady i want your pants! i guess if i asked her she, too would think i was a psycho. i wonder if that little girl is that guy's daughter or his granddaughter, hey, he has open coffee! isn't that against the rules? people mostly do seem to go by the rules. which is weird since i have never seen anyone enforcing them. huh. nope, still no bags better than mine. i wonder if anyone else has noticed how awesome my bag is. probably not, heathens. oh shit... now i'm singing that berlin song again... this happens every time... i need to think of something else... we all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine, no that's not working, ok, how about iii'm hen-e-ry the eighth i am, hen-er-y the eighth i am, i am... ok, no really, i'm going to read now...... hey!

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( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
zorah
Aug. 7th, 2003 01:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks, now I am singing Berlin....
snidegrrl
Aug. 7th, 2003 01:17 pm (UTC)
I haved lived in the DC area since 1997, and at various times have depended on the metro to get to work, and yet still, every time I step onto that lovely orange carpet, something clicks in my brain and Berlin starts playing. ARGH.
salami_salome
Aug. 7th, 2003 01:36 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! You are a regular William Faulkner. I know it isn't funny that the guy has no eye but I love the way you tell it.

I remember a soldier sleeping next to meeee...
examorata
Aug. 7th, 2003 02:17 pm (UTC)
Dude, that was WAY more interesting than Faulkner.

Okay, I'm doing him a disservice since I've only read "As I Lay Dying."

But still!
snidegrrl
Aug. 7th, 2003 02:51 pm (UTC)
i thought everyone had an internal monologue on the metro like this one! but er... maybe it's just me.

i did actually get about 70 pages further into homicide, though, despite my ADD people watching habits.
snidegrrl
Aug. 7th, 2003 03:13 pm (UTC)
no, it's not funny that the guy has no eye, but it speaks to the breadth of people you see on the metro, which is ENDLESSLY fascinating to me. i like to cluck over the people reading the washington times, and see where people work by reading their badges, and take a poll of the legally monogamous by counting wedding bands and then trying to guess the ages of the people... today i saw a couple that was heading probably out of middle aged i'd guess they were in their late 50s, and were flirting with each other and it was so beautiful, not only because it was an interracial couple which pleases me for some reason but because neither had wedding bands on. i just love the metro.
daisydumont
Aug. 7th, 2003 03:11 pm (UTC)
"i wonder if anyone else has noticed how awesome my bag is. probably not, heathens."

hahaha! i bet they did, too. :)
snidegrrl
Aug. 7th, 2003 03:28 pm (UTC)
i thought i saw one or two people eyeing it. it's stupid to think that other people are as obsessed with what people think about them as i am or that other people care about what other people are wearing/reading/carrying as i am. but you know, i can't be a total aberration. :)
cheetahmaster
Aug. 7th, 2003 04:08 pm (UTC)
You are one weird mamma-jamma.

I mean, other people have the same internal dialogue, but that's why they're *internal.*
snidegrrl
Aug. 7th, 2003 04:15 pm (UTC)
WYSIWYG
I think the world would be alot more interesting (maybe in that proverb way) if people fessed up about their internal monologues...
cheetahmaster
Aug. 7th, 2003 04:39 pm (UTC)
Re: WYSIWYG
"Wackos everywhere, plague of madness."
-12 Monkeys
panicsyndrome
Aug. 8th, 2003 12:01 am (UTC)
DUDE. you are an animated squirrel. that ruled.
snidegrrl
Aug. 8th, 2003 07:17 am (UTC)
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
thanks... imagine if i rode the metro to work ALL THE TIME.
geniealisa
Aug. 8th, 2003 08:18 pm (UTC)
I keep wondering if people are looking at my bag too. I know if I saw myself out on the street I would look at my own bag. Loooove the bag. :)
yogaocean22
Aug. 9th, 2003 11:12 am (UTC)
This is BRILLIANT!!!
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

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