March 12th, 2002

so, the rundown

let's see... last week, i did indeed drive down to norfolk for no particular reason other than a vague desire to drive and wanting to see my parents. an ostensible corollary goal was to see genie and maybe her parents, but that didn't end up working out. i basically hung out around the old homestead and with my parents. we went to antique shops, the nursery (the kind with plants, ya ninny), and a production of Jesus Christ Superstar at ODU. i bought a class ring, an old letter jacket, and a horrifically ugly barrel chair at the antique shops. i saw a tiny frog as small as the tip of my thumb at the nursery which my dad rescued by putting it back in the grass. the production of JCS was fun, i had always wanted to see it on stage, however the singing was a bit strained and i had some problems with what the director did. my parents enjoyed it though, which was the big surprise. there was one seat left between me and the next group of people and some pleasant guy about my age sat in it. of course, my mother immediately started whispering to me how lucky it was that the cute guy sat next to me, and wasn't he cute, etc. SIGH.

as always, when i go home, i return with a deep sense of well-being and groundedness. i got to listen to some old music that i really like and had forgotten about - my cassette of this band melted long ago - and went through some boxes that yielded some interesting personal history finds. i wouldn't be surprised if some portions of the letters i found that i had written to dale before i left for college found their way on here in a 'oh my god, i can't believe i said this' way. reading the bits i read was like watching a train wreck; watching me set myself up for a fall. i had a nervous breakdown the first week of college. i didn't really recover for... years, i'd say. so it's really precious to me to have this direct snapshot of my mental state immediately before everything fell apart. even if it's not flattering.

pet peeve of the day: people who put on lipstick or makeup right at the table in the middle of the restaurant. it pisses me off for 2 reasons: reason one, EW. reason two, why the hell is it so urgent to cover yourself up with goop AS SOON AS the goop has come off for something practical like eating? i mean, it's so urgent you can't wait 2 minutes to go to the bathroom, or 10 minutes until you're in your car alone, not where people are eating? and news flash: you may have to eat again, the goop will just come off again. sheez. i have had occasions where i have had to re-apply, but i usually try to demurely slip off to the bathroom. it's WHY they came up with the expression 'i have to powder my nose'.

the past few days have been right fine. i took last night off of work because i had not slept; i wouldn't have survived the night. my cat got toenail clippers and a laser pointer as a reward for undergoing the toenail clipping. although, he purred through it, so it wasn't so bad. since sunday afternoon, happiness rules. i should just say the things on my mind all the time; it's not as difficult as i sometimes think it is.

there's a concert i am not going to tomorrow. i am sad yet ok about it. there will be other opportunities for synchronous musical joy... (synchronous is not the work i am looking for... it's like, partnerial, but yet that isn't a word. what word am i looking for?)

have you seen Milo and Otis? you should. i have the opening song in my head. at least it's replaced the kipper song. sigh. the dog with a slipper.

i have also decided that a respectable goal to accomplish the idea of physical fitness is found in the admission requirements for officer training school for the military. they expect the follwing of someone of my age and gender: 50 situps in 2 minutes, 17 push-ups in 2 minutes, and a 2 mile run in 20:30. i will officially see how close i can get to this this week. probably nowhere near. i get winded running up the stairs. if anyone is interested in trying this with me, more power to them, i'll be working on it when i get off work or at approximately that time on my weekends. most normal people are working then, though.

AGAIN with the sleeping

So, I just negated all my previous social engagements by sleeping through them. AGAIN. I hate when this happens. I went to sleep at noon and didn't set my alarm thinking I would wake up around 7 naturally, and then go have dinner or practice guitar or whickever thing was going to happpen with whatever person. Or both things. Whatever, it doesn't matter now, because none of them are getting done, and neither is my laundry, because I apparently needed to sleep for nearly TEN HOURS. If I were more depressed, I would totally cry. Right now I just feel practical about it; it means that for the scary brunch tomorrow I will be well rested.

The interesting part of all this is that I had this bizarre dream where I got a huge wound in my hand, on my palm and wrist, that was open and creepy, and in the deep gorge of flesh between the skin there was this hard blue cheese looking stuff. Trust me, it was really fucking creepy. Also in the dream there was something about wearing flip-flops to go to the theater with my friends, and not wanting to use the bathrooms because my feet might touch the floor. I'm having some kind of body issues.

Now I need to go shower and eat so that I can go to work and do maintenance and redeem the fact that last night I was relatively useless. Oh, and play with the laser pointer and the cat for a while.
  • Current Music
    Neil Finn - One Nil
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