keep it dark (snidegrrl) wrote,
keep it dark

hey, jealousy

you know how when you want to make a joke about something, because it used ot be sensitive and it's not now and you want to prove how cool you are with things so you want to be nonchalant so you want to just make an offhand remoark meant purely for humor but yet you stop yourself, knowing still that there is a kernel of truth in what you say. i am this way about my jealous, petty nature in relationships. realistically i have no fear of any infidelity, yet i still wonder who chicks are, so i can't make a flippant joke about how i'd better tell some girl what's what becaause in reality, some tiny part of me still wants to be proprietary about my SO. i wish that were not true, and i do not believe that being sarcastic about it will actually help me at all, but encourage the mental pathway to jealousy and suspicion all the more.
Tags: introspection, jealousy
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