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so much on my mind

i have so much on my mind, and like no energy to talk or write about it. i feel bad that i missed work, because i logged on and found out it was a hell night. i want to explain about my whole hospital experience, because it was really my first ever hospital admission. it was terrifying, even though i knew that the problem (diverticulitis) isn't fatal. well, i suppose it could be if you just let it go, i guess. but yeah, it was terrifying. i am apparently not so tough. i dont' know what to do about that.

i hate IVs, and i can't figure out why. it ties in somehow with why i hate cyberpunk.

my cat is being nice to me, thank goodness. i thought he'd be super pissy that i was gone.

i have to re-learn how to eat. i have no idea what to do about this. all i've ever eaten is fatty greasy mess.


( 32 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 16th, 2002 03:45 am (UTC)
Prune Juice. Good source of both fiber and potassium. *

* Sage advice from the 'five years from 40' glam-punk tankgirl aging hipster

Hope you feel better soon, man. Jesus, that blows.
Dec. 17th, 2002 12:12 pm (UTC)
it totally blows. i have purchased the prune juice. i haven't tried it yet, i'm scared.
Dec. 16th, 2002 05:27 am (UTC)
It's not so bad once you get a few basics in. Prune juice isn't bad and fiber tablets are even better. Once things have stabilized and you get some baseline fiber in your diet you don't have to give up greasy stuff you just have to be aware of what can happen. First sign of pain and you go all fiber and lots of liquid so you can catch an attack before it gets bad. I've been living with mine for 20 years and no real problems. Sorry we couldn't get up there but by the time we realized you were going to be in for a while it was too late to come. Nobody likes IVs, they are inconvenient. You should have seen the plumbing your mom had to put up with last year.
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:40 am (UTC)
Re: Eating
It's totally cool that you couldn't come up; I completely understand.

I think my thing about IVs is stronger than most. :P It is not the inconvenience, it's that it really frightens me for some reason.

Argh, the plumbing! I feel bad that I wasn't there when mom had to go through that.
Dec. 16th, 2002 05:45 am (UTC)
Well, lots of grain based Indian and Middle Eastern dishes would probably be good for you. :)
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:38 am (UTC)
Well, last night proves I simply can't go without eating real food. So I will happily run out and eat some Indian soon.
Re: - tzel - Dec. 18th, 2002 07:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 16th, 2002 05:59 am (UTC)

We're sorry you're wounded, but glad you're walking wounded once more.

Are you going the tofu route? -csf

Dec. 18th, 2002 07:42 am (UTC)
I had no idea tofu was that good for you until someone mentioned it the other day! I may end up eating some tofu here and there. The only time I have ever had it and liked it was when I was in Blacksburg, the hippie place had this great pasta salad with tofu.
Dec. 16th, 2002 06:09 am (UTC)
My dad is in the same boat you're in, and is actually going in for a cat scan on Tuesday to find out why his diverticulitis has been acting up these past few months. Just so I don't scare you though, he's lived for quite some years with it (I think he was diagnosed in his 30s, and he's now in his mid-50s) without much trouble at all. Finding a good source fiber is the key -- I think he's recently switched to fiber tablets over water soluable fiber (e.g., Metamucil); he seems to prefer that.
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:43 am (UTC)
Same with my dad, as you can see above. Well, the ages are approximately the same I think. I went out and bought some metamucil munchy cracker things, but I haven't had to eat them much yet.
Dec. 16th, 2002 07:27 am (UTC)
really sorry to hear that you were ill. I was wondering if there was any way we could check in with you and see how you were doing, but fortunately you made it out ok, it seems. I'm glad things are at least a little better/stable... please do keep in touch and let us know how things are going, we are all thinking of you and stuff :)
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:46 am (UTC)
Thank you!! Hope to see you sometime soon.
Dec. 16th, 2002 07:56 am (UTC)
Not that we don't talk in person enough, but...

Sometime soon there will come some relief, not just physical but mental. It is a wake-up call indeed, but it is also quite comforting to know (a) what you have and (b) what to do about it. That is something you can control. It is terrifying to be diagnosed with something, especially something that will be with you all your life - but the terror starts lifting when you realize you have the ability to do what needs to be done.

Yeah. And stuff.

Welcome home! =)
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:58 am (UTC)
Your words are calm and wise. I need to keep those things in mind when I start freaking out as you well know!
Dec. 16th, 2002 08:33 am (UTC)
Glad to hear it wasn't something horribly serious. Both of my grandparents had this and it didn't seem to get in the way of their lives at all they just took metamucil regularly. I'm sorry we couldn't get away to visit you in the hospital you were constantly in our thoughts. We will have you over for dinner soon and I will make something good for you too eat that will be tasty as well! At least I will attempt to do make a tasty dinner.
Dec. 16th, 2002 09:29 am (UTC)
very glad to have you back out of hospital!
(no subject) - snidegrrl - Dec. 18th, 2002 07:45 am (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 16th, 2002 10:50 am (UTC)
I agree with what everybody else has said . . . take good care of yourself. I had no idea what diverticulitis was so I just got finished reading some websites regarding it and treatment. I have tried those fiber tabs and they are pretty good! If I come across some free offers or something (coupons, whatever) -- I'll send you a heads-up. Relax and cuddle with your kitties! :)
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:48 am (UTC)
Thank you for the kind words! Last night I didn't go to Two Towers and instead slept and ate and rested, and it made a big difference I think.
(no subject) - cerisefleur - Dec. 18th, 2002 09:00 am (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 16th, 2002 11:00 am (UTC)
Fiber is good for you, anyway. It'll decrease your likelihood of cancer. By the time we get to thirty, I think most of us turn up with some stupid incurable physical quirk, here or there. In the grand scheme of things, you could've picked a much worse one.

As for IVs, I've only had one once, since I've been old enough to remember, and that was for an upper endoscopy (to check out one of my own quirks). I had not been permitted to eat or drink anything before going. They put the needle in to give me a sedative. It was definitely annoying at first. Not long after the nurse put the IV in, she came to me with a cup of water, and told me to go ahead and have a drink.

"But I'm not supposed to drink anything before the procedure!" I protested.

The nurse laughed, "You already had it."

I realized, then, that the IV needle was gone. I thought for a long moment, and then remembered the part where they rolled me into the examination room, and sprayed a topical on the back of my throat, and I started drooling uncontrollably, and apologizing profusely to the doctors, and giggling, because it was so funny.

Dec. 18th, 2002 07:49 am (UTC)
Gal dang. That's pretty cool though. I wish they had given me THAT kind of IV so that I could have slept through the entire hospital stay!!! They were giving me just fluids and antibiotics, though. It really creeped me out to have something that was not me sticking in me. It's like a weird feeling of violation or something.
Dec. 16th, 2002 11:11 am (UTC)
Ditto, ditto and ditto.

Dude. I have had more than my fair share of hospital time, and I can tell you that 1) no one is "tough" when they're in extreme, unexpected pain (and no decent person would ever expect you to be) and 2) IVs are the spawn of stan (um, that was supposed to be satan but I kinda like stan better! Hee!). You had every right to be freaked out, especially since you've never been hospitalized before. BUT! I am glad to hear that what you have isn't life threatening. It's a pain to have to rethink how to eat (I've done it myself) but it can be done. And you've got a lot of good people around you to help you out. Keep feeling better. :)
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:51 am (UTC)
Maybe I have seen too many movies with people smiling bravely and stoically while horrible medical processes go on, but I thought that was de rigeur!

I wasn't doing any brave stoic smiling, oh no.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:52 am (UTC)
Yikes! I suppose one good by-product of that experience is that you got used to the hospital early. :-/
Dec. 16th, 2002 01:40 pm (UTC)
My mom has had diverticulitis and diverticulosis for almost a decade; for a while last year, she was having diverticulitis attacks every 2 months, and it was horrible because she'd have to stop eating solid or milky food for a number of days, which meant she was too weak to work properly.

Last January, she started taking acidophilus every day, which replenishes the bacteria in your body (which kill the things that start an attack), and she hasn't had an attack since (in almost a year).

http://www.webmd.com/ has good information on it; it isn't FDA approved, and you should likely talk to your doctor about it. But it does work like a dream for her.
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:55 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the tip! I will definately look into it. I am having that problem this week where I feel too weak to go into work (although they seem to desperately need extra hands) and I think it has alot to do with diet. In fact, today I plan to go eat some red meat because I can't take it anymore.
Dec. 17th, 2002 11:09 am (UTC)
Glad you're out of the hospital... especially glad that your cat understands he's got to be nice to you and help you recover quick :)
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:57 am (UTC)
Thanks :) It's true, the cat has been super good. I didn't know he had it in him!
Dec. 18th, 2002 06:58 am (UTC)
Sorry to hear that you have been having some health problems. I guess if I kept on here more I would know these things. As for the type of illness you have, my grandfather was diagnosed with that a while ago. He had surgery in his 80s for it and does very well for himself with not eating things like nuts and seeds and such. I hope things go well for you and if you need anything, you should give me a call. I might show up with a munchin, but that makes it more fun, right? :)
Dec. 18th, 2002 07:56 am (UTC)
Re: wooah
Aw, thank you. It's not a requirement to know what's going on, and I certainly don't excpect people to read it in my journal... but either way, I do hope I get to see you soon and seeing the munchkin would only be a plus.
( 32 comments — Leave a comment )


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