keep it dark (snidegrrl) wrote,
keep it dark

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same old ups and downs

i have no idea what set me off friday night. so weird. i just got run down or something. friday i had been really happy; i mean i was ticked that it took so long to get my new car stereo, but when it was all said and done i love the thing to death, it sounds just fab. i mean, it doesn't sound like a thousand dollar sound system, but that's because it's not and i am cool with that. i spent more money on it than i should have but i didn't go out of my budget... okay, okay, i don't need to go over it any more, what's done is done. and now riding around in my car is like a little tiny vacation. which was the whole idea. i need to burn some mp3 cds.

i'd been looking forward to friday night all week see; it's unusual for me to not be able to see my SO all week. i'm very much used to a more cohabitational relationship even though i have technically never cohabitated. but i will say it does make the time spent together that much more sweet. it took a while to actually get together, as rockville had become some kind of vehicular hell zone due to apparently a parking garage project collapsing. i waited some of it out at the barnes and noble which was when i started my quest for a scary/spooky book. i called cheetahmaster and grilled him but it was to no avail. it felt like it was really late when i finally reached bizarrojack. we didn't do anything special; skipped out on harry potter, played games together, chatted. but that was all i wanted, so it was fine. until i got pissy and depressed for no apparent reason. thankfully, the only casualty was the book club mailing list, as i am utterly freaked out that a book might be chosen that i am 100 percent confident i will despise. and on top of that my SO expressed desire to read this book that the very title tries to turn my stomach. i don't feel like going into what it is and why because the point is that i shot off what was in my mind a very pissy email and then sulked and went to sleep. honestly, going to sleep was the best thing i could have done because it meant that i didn't cry unnecessarily or say anything actually mean or unfair to anyone. i have to remember it is not a personal affront to me that people want to read this book and i could be all wrong about the book anyways. and hope against hope, someone will come up with a better idea. anyways, that really got me down, more than it should have.

so, i woke up still feeling kind of shitty, told myself to stop, finished reading watcher in the woods, ate cheesecake, and felt better. i suppose there's a long shot it could have been a blood sugar thing, but i'm not sure i buy that because i've gone for longer without eating without the mood swings. as it turned out, the morning went well and i went back to sleep a few times, just laying around and being lazy, once i realized that that was what i needed to do. i didn't get anything on my to-do list done, but it felt really good to just bum around with jack. i then proceeded to miss out on not one, not two, but three possible viewings of the FotR extended version. oh well, it will be around. i actually played diablo ii a bunch... bad me. it was fun. after necrocannibal and msteleute got home the necmeister joined us for some diabloing which was SUPER excellent fun and everything i wanted out of my "sunday". yeah, it was my sunday, because here i am at work tonight. fucking hell. as you can see i really have my heart in this working saturday thing. yeah. right.

driving to work was actually the hardest part of it... the rain really fucks with me... i thought i was going to die the entire way. i really need to start keeping an eye on the weather and think harder about arranging to metro in on nights like this. in addition to that making me uncomfortable, i'm wearing boxer briefs right now and they are bunching. and i forgot my badge and secureid and therefore feel like a right fool and kind of useless. on the up side... it's 4am now. hell yeah, over the hump. i have a card swap at 6am and then i am the fsck out of here. my cat misses me, i'm sure. i miss him! i am a cat lady!!!!
Tags: book club, depression
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