- Tonight I got alot of packing done (thanks to tzel!!!!)AND took apart the front bookshelves.
- My skin is flaking off creepily, yet, pleasingly. Just on the thumb burn, I mean.
- If I had a cube of my own, I'd keep a bean bag chair under it to take naps on.
- I think I want to talk to him more than he wants to talk to me.
- "Needing to have someone's head" for an outage is a really fucking stupid way to run a business.
- Got to talk to Jay K., he sounds great, and I hope to see him again soon.
Tonight I came in to discover that the maintenance work that Coworker Number One did last night caused some huge ripples - all the way up to upper management who apparently want SOMEONE related to the outage fired. It sounds like it doesn't matter to them who it is, just that they need to fire someone for something this "egregious". What bullshit. The truth is that the blame probably lies over about 5 different people at different levels of the process and none of them really screwed up that bad. If you want to get down to it, it's all the fault of this crap-o product. Again I say, I'm in the totally wrong business. I think that 13 hours of downtime for a few customers will just happen from time to time. What do they want to do, replace us with computers that don't break or fail? Oh wait. THAT IS WHY WE ARE HERE. Because computers break! And we're human. If I could see where one person was clearly derelict of their duty and screwed this pooch, I might be a little more comfy with the idea of axing someone over it. Oh well... thank goodness I didn't work it. We'll see if they back up their threats. If some idiot decides to axe Number One, we're all going to be in a heap of trouble. He's the only one with the answers, usually.
This month, in all respects, is turning out to be, as they say, a "doozy". (Where the hell did that word come from anyways???) I'm trying to refuse to let it get me down but late at night I get easily upset. I'm starting to act, or maybe just feel, kind of dependent. At least in this incarnation of it I still get things done. So far. At least I am dating someone who doesn't give a rat's ass what kind of bullshit artistry I'm trying to pull with my pitiful act. He'll support me when I need support, but when I'm just being... lame, well, he'll be there when it works for him. I am guessing he wouldn't put it that way, but I'm not saying it to be mean. I'm trying to find words to contrast experiences I have had in the past where partners have coddled me and every time I said boo-hoo would jump into my self-pity pool. Not that they knew they were enabling me or anything, they just believed me when I said I NEEDED them RIGHT NOW. Probably what I needed was a good kick in the butt. I don't NEED to talk to someone every day or NEED to have someone come up with something to talk to me about while I'm working no matter what I have thought from time to time in the past. My sanity-bravado is very fragile right now. K.I.T.! KeepItTogether!!! (if you don't recognize that, it's from Bowfinger, hehehehe...)