somehow despite total exhaustion, i couldn't sleep for more than 5 hours today. huh. the good news is, no bugs! i saw no bugs in the house. yay!! during dinner, i bit my tongue so hard it may never take its original shape again. after dinner, i unpacked my harp for the first time in probably a year, and realized that a) i must clip my nails and b) i must relearn nearly everything about playing from scratch, most likely. ugh. and i'm stil frustrated there are only 3 octaves and change. goddamn, if dale was going to buy my affections back in '97, he should have tried harder!!! er, except that it worked, so i should shut up. well, it worked for about 4 months, heh. i digress. at least now that i have the harp out i will try more. now i'm at work and yawning and crampy as hell. oh goody.

I keep being afraid to try to start my documentation of my weekend, knowing that I am moment by moment forgetting important things about it. But I have to try. So let's start with friday.

I slept Thursday night, skipping out on the club and on work, not because of some irresponsibility, but because I could not sleep all day. It was pretty tragic and I was kind of coming apart at the seams because of it. Last week was definately not a banner week for sleep. But, because of this, I woke up Friday morning refreshed and ready to head down to Blacksburg. Unfortunately I had to wait a little bit because Jack and I had different ideas about hitting the road, however; I feel I can safely skip over that because I learned some things about how to handle it in the future, like for example if I want him to go anywhere being more up front about what it will entail. (And he made up for any getting-on-the-road slacking by putting up with well, the entire rest of the weekend with grace and aplomb.) We got on the road at 4pm. We got to blacksburg at 10pm. It could have been worse.

( Tcon begins )

Thank god I took Sunday off in advance, because ugh. Exhaustion. Despite the exhaustion, we went to Flanagan's to see the Maggie Drennon band and see our friends and as bronzemountain said, "pre-emptively" celebrate St. Patrick's day. We only saw the first part of the set because I was too tired to even lift the edges of my mouth to smile, and a cup of coffee didn't matter - I was going to sleep RIGHT THEN. Jack had somehow become energized and dropped me off and continued on to visit his bro et al., whereas I used my last ounce to put fresh sheets on my bed and then fall into it. I vaguely remember him coming back to curl up with me and then all is dark pits of sleep, with dreams of my past and (hopefully not) future dancing in my head. I reluctantly sent him off to work in the morning, and spent the rest of the day being lazy apart from hitting the Book Nook (acquired: Wollstonecraft, Steinem, random embroidery book) and Safeway. I read 50 more pages in AoMX and then slept until work. (Thank goodness I woke up by 10; I forgot to set my alarm.) And now, here I am, back in my present.

( Emotional Consequences )

So, in the final analysis the weekend was a big success. While I don't think that the actual substance of Technicon is really up my alley anymore, it was beautiful to see familiar faces, even the ones I only got to see for 30 seconds (kittykatya, eeedge, ypawtows, mikailborg, yubbie, calandra, impink, for example) and I hope I get to see them again. In my life I need threads that don't break, no matter how thin. And so much thanks to bizarrojack for accompanying me.

In other news, there is a new Finn in the world: Tim just had a daughter, Elliot Maisy.

...which isn't much. because there's not much to say. alot of thoughts have been floating around my head but i'm not sure if any of them are important enough to really put down. the one i had in the car today was that i'm very near the age that dale was when he hooked up with me when i was 17/18. i thought about how i would feel if a 17-year-old was flirting with me right now, and it made me angry at him all over again. i mean, even if his intentions were always good, i am angry that he was such a moron, or willfully ignorant of the danger. i mean, yeah. i wanted to finish this ridiculous book yesterday, but did not, and probably won't have time to tomorrow. my agenda for the weekend:
- lunch with Jenna
- trip to nation with Jack
- shopping with telf
- JJJ party
- tennis with Jen, etc.
- eating at Jaleo
my weekend is apparently, except for telf, full of things that begin with J. i also need to pay all my bills. it's another one of those squeaking-by-until-payday weeks. WHY in god's name i am having those i don't understand. oh wait, i do, it's because i pissed away my extra money like a fool. hoping very much right now that the help i can offer S in looking for a place to live pays off; i drove by a really nice little place in Vienna that had a special on 1-br apartments. in a moment i think i will break down and purchase some microwave popcorn. i wonder if i am being a fool for going out tomorrow night. we'll find out... also need to get the book club book... alot of people have said they plan to read it, and i am excited.