We still don't have a permanent professor. It's been 3 class sessions with either no teacher or a sub, and 3 class sessions with no lecture to speak of; maybe I'd call it 4 since one of the subs was a little lost. This is pretty tough for me, feeling a little rudderless in a difficult class, but for people who were just trying not to fail it's somewhat devastating.

Full disclosure: I got an 88 on the lecture exam (I got the exact set of questions wrong which I had marked on the side of my scantron sheet that I would get wrong - there's a lesson in that somewhere.) and an 81 on the lab practical. Most of my class feels this is stellar and grew up in a world of curves or wonders why that is disappointing when they all got something in the 40-60 range. I, on the other hand, find this totally unacceptable, particularly after studying my butt off. So I'd like to talk to my professor about what I can do better next time. Only I don't have one.

I'm not that worried about it apart from the fact that since vacation it's been hard to rein in my attention span and focus on the textbook. But my problems aren't quite as rough as those of my favorite study buddy (not the aryan study group leader I've told some of you about - she dropped the class) who is coping with other stuff outside of class and is playing catch-up on any and all math skills. I really want to help her succeed. Which is where you guys come in.

I'm trying to sort out some ways to help with her test anxiety. I sure have some test anxiety of my own, but I think my friend's may go beyond and are limiting her ability to get things she knows translated out onto the test. I've studied with her; I've quizzed her and asked her questions and made her explain stuff back to me. I know she does know or has the ability to know. But her test grades are not reflecting that. And from what she's been saying, it's because she gets into the test and freaks out and decides she doesn't know anything. I told her about my experiences with automatic thoughts and we tried to tease out the direction her mind goes when she gets into the test situation, but I'm by no means a professional.

So does anyone out there have experience with test anxiety and some ways to overcome it? Maybe I could set up some real test taking situations and she and I could self-test together and grade each other or something. I really want to help but I'm not sure how.

So that's current school. I've also been thinking a great deal about future school, and trying not to limit myself. I am still following my original plan with a target entry to HCCC for the abbreviated Associate's in 2010. But in the meantime I am looking around at other programs all over the country to see what the course offerings are and who offers what kind of RN to BSN or RN to MSN, what kind of specialties, etc. In my groping and stumbling (there are so many ways your nursing career and education can go. it's kind of ridiculous.) I discovered a bunch of pages about forensic nursing. And I got really excited. There seem to be two schools of thought:

1. "Don't get excited, Forensic Nursing isn't all about CSI and cool dead bodies."
and
2. "People think Forensic Nursing is boring, but just think! You could help solve crimes!"

I intend to look into this more thoroughly because apart from my desire to someday specialize in psych nursing this kind of piqued my interest. In the meantime I've been adding every nurse blog I can find to google reader (which I just started using - and almost demands a whole other post!) in the hopes of getting as diverse a set of public internet opinions on the field as I can.

I finished the rough draft of my paper in time last night! I turned it in at about 5 of midnight. I do work better with deadlines, yes I do.

I haven't had much inspiration/time to take fancy photos (I didn't want to take them at Girls Rock training because I thought the organizers might think I was some weirdo) but I took a few for the 4th. And of course the obligatory cat photo.



I am pretty fond of that cat photo. Now I'm off to get my hair done.

Well I just made sure I was paid up for fall semester; A&P II is go. Although I kind of wish I was taking this:

( BIO 2500 Description )

Yeah! Registering for classes is always way more fun to think about than actually doing the final papers for them, which is what has me down right now. I sort of remembered the assignment as being a 5 pager, but I was wrong. It's a 10 pager. The rough draft is due tomorrow, and it will be very rough. I also just read the final exam study notes, and that'll be rough as well. I'll be spending some time during our girly weekend in Berkeley Springs studying.

I am in a similar boat at work with writing; I have a big document to finish and mostly some thoughts in note form. In the next few days I'll have to transform both of these. I should be transforming the work one right now.

Thursday night was softball (we lost x2). Friday night I played tennis with meercat at the lit courts. Saturday was about studying and going to see pictsy at the Palace of Wonders. Sunday was about visiting traceracer & jwiv & the n00b (I say affectionately!) and trying to write this paper. The entire weekend was about insomnia; every night I would be exhausted, lay down to go to sleep, and nothing would happen. For hours. Even after melatonin. Last night I drank Sleepytime Extra tea with valerian and actually counted sheep... backwards from 1000. The last one I remember counting was 919, so it kind of worked!

Remember when I was in shock that it was last monday? Well wash, rinse, repeat. We're halfway through 2008 and I feel like I'm still not finished contemplating the impact of 2007.

tzel and I went to the Ram's Head Live last week to see Pat Benatar. Beforehand, however, we had dinner at Mex next door. On a weekend, I probably wouldn't want to set foot in the place, but early on a Tuesday it was lovely inside. We had excellent service and apart from their unfortunate problem of being out of avocados, the food was good. It was not blowing us away - the cheese dip needed more spice for instance - but worth it, as it was on the cheap side for dinner. The show itself was good - her voice was clear and beautiful. Her band rocked. The crowd was mostly women our age and up, although the wonderful guys standing behind us who were clearly big Pat fans were great; since I couldn't see real well I just enjoyed the big gay dance party.

I never talk about work here because I largely can't talk about specifics and sometimes generalities. I do kind of mostly paddle along right now with a great deal of fear because my main support person is completely consumed in another project. I am on my own and very confused most of the time. It's not my favorite but fortunately my boss continues to be great.

Finally went to see the Sex & the City movie with my classmates from A&P. I take it back, my one classmate and Jack, because everyone else bailed. Mostly I realized that for a half-hour show I can take and leave what I like and hate, but for a two hour movie, it just left me angry for myriad reasons. But hey, Chris Noth on the big screen, that's a plus.

The next few weeks of my summer class-taking will consist of mainly project stuff. The group project (groan) & the paper. My plan of attack is to take the book (for the paper) which I just finished reading and make a bunch of notes of things I could possibly talk about and then like dough, allow it to rise through insertion of extra words. For the group project - that will require more research. I sent my group a list of tasks last night. I am desperately hoping they respond by Wednesday. I just want this done and over with at this point.

For a totally unplanned weekend, I did a mess of stuff: lunch at Abol with omphaloskepsis and tzel, after which we scoured the Crafty Bastards fair for things that were not twee, irreverent t-shirts and adorable stuffed monsters. (I bought handmade soap. I have enough for three years now.) And then took a timeout af the Piratz Tavern, where we got crumby service and no ice. The vegetarian platter at Abol was really good though. I could do that every weekend! I wish I knew how to count the points though.

After I dropped my ladyfriends off, I chilled at home long enough to cool off and then headed to the 9:30 to catch chiba's band The Hypersonic Secret. They were pretty darn good.

Got home and pretty much was in for the rest of the weekend trying to read chapters in the text & playing diablo ii, after the great news from blizzard inspired us. Hey, with the latest patch you don't have to keep the CD in. LAN party anyone?

Friday night rolled down to the Lake Elhorn area to have a little dinner with Lars for his birthday. There was some crazy art thing going on so we just had sandwiches at the cafe - they were yummy.

Saturday woke up, hit the drum lesson where I got assigned "Sad But True" which is slow but already giving me trouble. Zipped home, got Jack and headed to 6 flags for the office summer picnic. Still hate 6 flags. Wasn't conducive to socializing with coworkers. Wish I'd skipped it. Went home and tried desperately to focus on homework to little avail. Moved on to maroonmd's for her birthday karaoke times.

That was well worth it. I did Cher (Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves), Linkin Park (In the End), John Michael Montgomery (Sold), Squirrel Nut Zippers (Hell), and Outkast (Hey Ya). Possibly something else but it might have been forgettable since I don't recall it. I saw peoples that I only get to see at Maia & Paul's and like, actually made eye contact and wasn't a total doofus. People think I'm an extrovert (and I am) but inside my head, I am often working against a flight reaction with people I don't know very well. A rocking time was had for sure. I intended to stay only a short time and would have closed the place down if I hadn't known I needed to get up and do some reading for class!

Speaking of class, I haven't said much about it. This is because the online thing makes it feel like it's not really happening, even though it is. I really don't understand how this is supposed to work. So far we have to read the chapters, and take a quiz on them (which you can re-take as many times as you want) and participate in the weekly discussion which means making at least two half-assed comments with buzzwords. No teaching has been done. Is that how it works usually? If so I loathe it and hope I never have to take a class this way again. I need a teacher to freaking teach me and interact with me. We're in week three and things should be ramping up pretty quick as far as projects so I'm trying to clear my social schedule but I have a really hard time focusing when I get home. Been doing too many other things.

One of which was peril_book_club on Monday, where I got to play the villain. I am glad that discussion is over with. However I am uncomfortable with the next book as well, and am just hoping to get through the discussion without emotional scars and move on.

On Sunday I did call my dad. We are going to go to my hometown over July 4th weekend so you Norfolk area people keep your wits about you! Or email me or something. I don't have a plan but my parents will take up most of my time and I already expressed an intention to invade the territory of geniealisa.

I am super extra psyched as I have an interview on Sunday with the DC Girls Rock Camp people.

And the now-ubiquitous flickr plugging:

     

due to attention span issues, the following post will contain bullet pointed items.

- got my new Crumpler bag. it rules even if it's too big.
- liked Indy 4; probably would agree with your criticism though. still, liked it.
- getting to Erie is long, and my ability to take the Long Road Trip is inconsistent these days
- Bravo! italian restaurant in Cranberry township PA is really good
- I think I have about had it with Quality Inns; once I turn in these points I will try another chain
- George's restaurant in Erie is a great breakfast place, recommended
- got to go to presque isle, unexpected treat!
- also Waldameer! the wacky shack! a classic!
- got home safe
- doctor says i don't have asthma
- of the 15 or so people who have posted on my psych class boards, we have 11 future nurses

And of course, congratulations to p_sunshine and simplesimon on their wonderful wedding and the beautiful church and brilliant reception and excellent food. Reuben puffs? Brilliant!!

Photos at some point later.

"Eight discussion topics will be posted... you need to comment and then respond to other students' comments at least once.These comments must be substantive..."

I get credit for doing what I have been doing on the internet every day for 7 years? OKAY.

(This is probably just like any other syllabus in an online course, but it's new to me, so...)

Also: If you have a really exciting suggestion of an AUTOBIOGRAPHY I should read for my paper in this class (Human Growth & Development) speak up. The given options are currently:

Gifted Hands by Ben Carson
Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt
Laughing in the Dark by Patrice Gaines
Dreams from my Father by Barack Obama
Easier Said by LeRoy Battle

It says I can petition to do a paper on something else though so have at.

For the past several weeks I've been sleeping with my custom dentist-made night guard on, to stop the rapid deterioration of my teeth from grinding. Now when I don't make it through the night with this thing on (sometimes I take it out in my sleep) it feels like I'm putting a good 70 pounds of pressure on my poor little teeth. This sucks! And makes me talk funny right before bed. The up side is that I feel thoroughly compelled to brush my teeth before bed every night which has to be good.

After lab review last night I'm in a dead flat panic about the practical. I know I have LOTS of wiggle room but I want an A in this class. I am also mildly paniced because our teacher has lost people's work before and I asked to see my grade thus far last night and she wouldn't show me. Unacceptable. So I've got to learn muscles in a week. No more fucking around.

Off to run several errands before leaving town!! Whee.

I am registered for not only summer but fall!!! PGCC has vastly improved registration online since last semester.

This one class at a time thing chafes! I get so excited. Even while being totally sick of A&P taking up all my time. (Which it will do in the fall again, since A&PII is what I'm taking.) I'm even excited about the fact that my class this summer is online and thus I can sit on my couch and do it.

I have two more finals, essentially. One in a week (the hard one) and one in a week and a half (the totally cumulative one). Did I plan for this in my social plans? No. I am going to Atlantic City to see The Musical Box tomorrow and I have book club on monday. Oh well, there will be car studying and hotel room studying. Oh and tonight I am supposed to RUN down into DC after cutting up an eyeball and see Crowded House. Doors are at 7. Class will hopefully be over by 8 or 8:30. Do you think I'll even catch the encore? I am skeptical. I can't miss a second of class because we'll be doing the review for the BIG NASTY EXAM.

Any tricks for remembering the cranial nerves are welcome.

Oh and I am sad about Top Chef. ( spoilery comment )

Originally I said I would take it slow, and not take any classes this summer. In part, it's like, why not save the $500 or so. In part it's that I am not in a HUGE rush to get into nursing school because when I do make that transition, I will have to make a decision about going full time, and that is kind of a nightmare from several perspectives. (Those being that I started my perfectly good job 6 months ago and I don't want to leave it, that it would make us financially uncomfortable during the 2 years for the degree, and well, that last one is a whole thing in itself.) In another part, A&P has been lots of work and I will want a break where I can sit on my thumbs and play World of Warcraft and put drum practice at a higher priority and generally sloth it up. Or work out, or play softball, whatever.

Then I got the summer course catalog from PGCC and looked at it. I was just going to glance at it and toss it in the trash, knowing my plan to slack and bide my time. But then I somehow was getting out the hiliter and marking all the classes I could take. (And taking a trip down memory lane to a time when doing this filled me with hope and eagerness and complete for-granted-taking of the cost being absorbed by loans.) What are the advantages? More good grades (in theory) to help my sad GPA from my previous college experience. Obviously, learning more is good. Looking better on an app to nursing school just by having more courses under my belt, as currently nothing else I'm doing is getting me experience in a medical field. Being ready to apply sooner.

Disadvanatages? Being less focused at work, being out that $500 or so bucks in the immediate future, less time for social life and slacking. The thought of course is that there will be time for all those things when I'm done with nursing school but in a way that's a lie because a) I still make time for those things and b) what if I go get a BSN to MSN or something like that?

So I realized, hey, I should talk to an academic advisor. Or, I could ask my friends list!

( Detailed Class Options With Snarky Commentary )

So what do you think, peanut gallery?
Poll #1164653
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What class should I take this summer?

In two hours I can commence dumping my knowledge of anatomy onto paper for my lab practical which is like 40% of my grade or something. In the form of 50 answers to non-multiple choice, non-matching questions. I will be so overjoyed to have this phase of things over with and be on spring break (even though I have a lab report to do and another exam after spring break).

I hope I can remember where the trochlea, trochanters, tubercles, and malleoluses are. (Humerus, femur, humerus, and tibia/fibula.) And if I do remember them, I hope she darn well asks about them. Or perhaps the mandibular condyle. I definitely feel at this point like any more information that gets put in my head pushes other information out.

On spring break I hope to:
- get started on the crazy cross-stitch idea
- see Liam Finn at DC9
- play lots of WoW

and a long list of other stuff, but that stuff is the me-centric stuff.

OK, let's try that again. I welcome Tuesday with open arms.

So only two of you many fine friends can imagine coming up with enough country songs to fill a mix cd? I know I have more country fans, surreptitious or proud, on my flist than that!

This review of the Matrix Energy drink cracked me up.

This weekend was busy, and great! Well, with a setback here or there. ( dissection, chili, philly, and RP )

The shit is on, people. This is real schooling. We went over shit in the first session I've never even heard of; all I can say is thank sweet private school jesus I had to take latin.

There are a whole mess of LPNs in this class that are just there because it's required for RN. THEY ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING. Damn.

$176 for ONE of my textbooks. Nothing else comes close but there are a number of other $20-ish supplements I am required to buy. How do they get away with this? I can find the right edition on Amazon for $119.00 used, but before I do that I have to make sure they don't bundle the new one with something I really need - which they purposefully, IMHO, obscure on the bookstore web site. Still.

One hundred and seventy six. Dollars.

I better loooove this class.

Also, my tutoree called me last week, and I forgot to mention it. She called to thank me because she passed!! I am so relieved. I am also relieved that she is taking math this semester and not anatomy.

I got my hair done yesterday! I love it. I took a picture, but it doesn't do it justice in the artificial light so I'm not even linking to it.

I continue to be too cool for school, if by cool I mean the giant nerd who has an A++. I have to hide the grades on my paper as she hands it back because the other students will berate me volubly. What is the secret to my success? I, you know, read things, and have been for a good 28 years. I am convinced this is the main or only difference between me and my classmates. They appear to just have not read things. Every fact I know or concept I grasp that is tangential to class but constitutes a ++ knowledge of the subject is something I learned from reading it somewhere. Imagine that.

TV updates:
Heroes - I am slightly bored by this at the moment. Too many stories, too fractured, too many characters being too stupid. You know it's bad when I most enjoy the Sylar scenes. But, I know there is probably more fun to come and will of course keep watching - I just might play DS at the same time.
Beauty and the Geek - I am far less sure that most of the geeks were faking it (still confident that the male beauty is playing dumb, however) but most of the nicer people have been kicked off. I have decided that Shay is a saint, because she is so nice to Joshua and he is so clearly the "off the charts, unhelpable" geek this season.
Pushing Daisies - The Halloween ep was fantastic. I have been reserving comment because things were a little too twee for even me so far, but I am warming up to it. Also, Lee Pace has my undying affection. Move over, Milo!
Moonlight - Jack says: "I don't get it, his hand is made of vampire too, so how does holding it up to shield him from the sun help?" This show could not be more reminiscent of Forever Knight if it tried, though it does kind of need a Schanke. Alex O'Loughlin has a certain charm which brings the whole endeavor just over the 'watchable' mark, plus: Mo' Dohring! Mo' Dohring!

This weekend I spent a bunch of time being lazy, but also attended the Patterson Park lantern parade (dressed as a cowgirl - I am waiting for freakscout to post pics!) and Sunday Jack convinced me to sit still long enough to watch A Few Good Men which was about as good as everyone said.

Squeee! We got to look at cells and tiny organisms in the microscope today! Man, I TOTALLY took school for granted the first time around. People in my class literally looked at me funny for getting all jazzed about the microscopes. In other news, took exam. Might be good. Studying skills are a little rusty but I read my notes to myself aloud and re-wrote things I wasn't familiar with.

I finished hand sewing things today, I got the grommets I needed, and I went ahead and cut pieces from my extra fabric to make a bag. I am terrified of putting in the grommets because if I fuck that up, there's no going back.

I also started watching Colonial House. Definitely a weepfest for me! I am constantly amazed and impressed by everything these days. Now Jack is coming home and we are going to get the most garlicy pizza possible. Natch.

Notice: I will be at renfaire this weekend. Who else is planning on being there?
( assorted other stuff )