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100 things

there is naught to do, but to write 100 things about me. it's not necessary to read it, but i want to write it.

1) I was in all-state chorus my junior year of high school.
2) Sometimes I forget and tell people I was in senior year, also, but I wasn't, I didn't make it.
3) I like to think of myself as utterly sef-sufficient, but the fact is that I need people.
4) I think four years is the longest I have devoted to any project, but if you count how long it will take me to pay off my students loans, you can count my college degree as a lifetime.
5) I almost went to grad school for Social Work in 1999, but I chose to start out in the tech industry instead.
6) I have less than 1000 cds.
7) My dream job is still to be a rock star.
8) I have completed 2 sewing projects; one a bag for tarot cards and one a sailor moon costume. There's a dress and stuff, but I don't count those as completed.
9) Sometimes in the morning I don't realize that the sun has come up until it's time to go.
10) I am scared that smoking around my cat while he was growing up will ultimately mean he'll get cancer.
11) I never pay my bills on time.
12) I bit my nails until January of this year.
13) There's only one person who can truly claim they helped me stop.
14) Some days, even when I am in the best of moods, I will bust out swearing at people in traffic like a tourette's sufferer.
15) I feel that when the media is analyzing how it covered something, there's simply not enough news.
16) I've never felt at home anywhere I have lived as much as I have felt at home in my parents' house.
17) When it's nighttime there and I'm alone downstairs I to this day am scared that a ghost haunts the living room and I have to bound up the stairs doubletime to make sure I don't see it or vice versa.
18) I pride myself on my ability to write, not necessarily creatively, but coherently and effectively.
19) I often wish I had more opportunities to write things longhand.
20) My favorite color is mint green. I got it from a crayon color in my youth.
21) My favorite/lucky number is 4, and second favorite is 7; 5 and 6 and 3 are especially bad luck because of their proximity to the lucky numbers.
22) I always am careful to chew more food on the right side of my mouth than my left.
23) I've always enjoyed being on stage, or in (ahem) the movies, but I'm really, really, incredibly bad at acting.
24) I'm not as bad at lying.
25) Yes, I was in a "movie" or amateur show, it was called Space Rogues, and I hear it still plays on Blacksburg public television. It's awful.
26) I stay on at least 6 mailing lists that I never even read: staph, seance, vtsffc, and three others I can't even think of off the top of my head.
27) I sparked a book club among my friends.
28) I can't remember the name of the first guy that tried oral sex out on me.
29) I think it would be neat to go to Alaska, among many other places.
30) I've only been to 16 of the 50 states.
31) I own a nice electric guitar and a shitty electric bass and a nice drum and a wood flute and a harp.
32) My first long term boyfriend gave me that harp, after we broke up the first of two times.
33) My favorite teacher in high school was Dr. Noffsinger.
34) My favorite professor in college was Dr. Fuhrman, and I even went out of my way to take his graduate class as an undergrad. I think I was creepily hot for him.
35) When I came home for the summer in 1994 after my freshman year, I weighed 99 pounds.
36) I owned my first car, technically, in January of 2002.
37) I like surreality in movies, but whenever I would write fiction, I didn't want it to be anything but very, very real.
38) It is one of my goals to take the MMPI.
39) I first smoked a cigarette when I was 15 or 16, I can't remember which. I first inhaled the smoke properly at age 22.
40) I don't have many memories from childhood that are concrete, but visiting my dad in the hospital after his heart attack, the day he quit smoking, is one of them.
41) I have never liked being on boats.
42) I never had a problem with flight sickness until the last time I flew, which was to a wedding in California.
43) The best job I have ever had, apart from pay, was the part-time book shelving gig at Newman library.
44) The best job I ever had, including pay, was working customer service at Intermedia leased-line tech support.
45) I was always a dog person until I realized I didn't have time for a dog and got a cat.
46) I believe in the power of love.
47) Cheesy as it is, the "Conversations with God" book changed my life.
48) I still to this day can't track down the lover who forced me to read it.
49) I believe in trying to keep in contact with every friend I've ever had, even though I know that is unrealistic.
50) When it comes to parties, I have a "the more the merrier" attitude, although I prefer if I am at least acquainted with the people.
51) I've never scored better than 150 at bowling.
52) I think I'm a west-coast-person living in an east-coast-person's body.
53) I want to go back to grad school. Desperately. For something.
54) I almost dropped out of college right at the end and took a job making 15,000 a year or something ridiculous like that working in the library storage facility.
55) I should have been fired from my job at the National Academy of Sciences because I was such a terrible employee. I neglected to do crucial parts of my job for months on end.
56) I still have nightmares about how the people I worked with must disdain me.
57) When I was at that job, I was driving a 1987 Oldsmobile Calais. The poor man's Cutlass Ciera.
58) I locked my keys in that car more times than I can count.
59) I can't believe that for three years every weekend I would go out wearing all red and black and people called me Carmen.
60) I think I learned some valuable social skills as well as some bad habits from that experience.
61) I try to convince myself that I can still have the same feeling that people have when they leave high school: "I can accomplish whatever I want! The doors are wide open!" I manage to do it most of the time.
62) I still deep down feel I was cheated from that time of my life by someone who was a predator and may not even realize it to this day.
63) I hasten to recognize my own fault in the loss of "the best years of my life". I put it in quotes because I believe the real best are yet to come.
64) I have a definite favorite among my coworkers currently, and I struggle to hide that.
65) I do not feel I have the problem-solving instinct that this job requires.
66) I feel that the above was proven when I was in the 6th grade by my lack of participation in the Olympics (odyssey?) of the Mind competition where we had to make an elaborate contraption out of mousetraps.
67) I disticntly rememeber listening to Madonna's "La Isla Bonita" on my walkman while attending that OM competition.
68) I think that wearing socks with sandals is the most comfy thing ever, and that it's cute, also.
69) I get extremely frustrated when people can't follow simple procedure, even when that procedure is asnine.
70) Sometimes I will purposely not follow a procedure because I think it's asinine, and not tell anyone.
71) One of my feet is about a half size bigger than the other one, and I can never remember which is the big foot.
72) My face looks like my dad but the rest of me looks like my mom.
73) Until I got a cell phone, I could remember all my friends' telephone numbers by heart.
74) I find pagers to be extremely intrusive. I used to really like them.
75) I have a fake christmas tree. It's made of green shiny tinsel.
76) My mostly areligious parents once sent me to Sunday School because my friends were going and it was something for me to do.
77) That doesn't explain the Christian Horse camp, Triple-R Ranch, but they sent me there too. I fell for a counselor named Owen. I was a massive dork and he barely looked at me. I also almost wet my bed with fear every night.
78) Because I hate camping.
79) The only time I had to go to the emergency room was when I was bit by a squirrel.
80) The dogs I had as a kid were named Teeko and Muffin.
81) I think I could feel comfortable living in New York City.
82) I used to think I wanted to live in a rural area, but that's crazy.
83) Part of realizing I am bi was realizing that all those times I said "I wish I could be like that girl" I really meant "I wish I could be with that girl". It's a blurry line that often overlaps.
84) I know something has fundamentally changed in me because I used to want to put stickers all over my car, and now I worry that that would make it look trashy.
85) I prefer Pepsi over Coke.
86) I wish I liked vegetables so I could become a vegetarian.
87) If not rock star, then trendy used book store owner.
88) I was born in Norfolk, VA.
89) I doubt I will ever want to go live there again unless I have to.
90) I've never made a whole turkey.
91) Once I almost got heat exhaustion from wearing a dove costume for halloween that entailed a white plastic trash bag.
92) The reason I like 70s decor is because for some reason, deeply colored shag carpeting and other sundries feel like the womb to me.
93) I took 5 years of French and I can kind of read it, but can't write or speak it.
94) I took 3 years of latin and well, have only a good english vocabulary to show for it.
95) Everyone always said that I didn't live up to my potential. I can't tell you how many times I heard that choice phrase.
96) I think it's because I was too busy listening to Aerosmith's "Angel" and imagining kissing Geordie.
97) I have these fingerless gloves that have little mitten caps that you pull over your fingers when you don't need them anymore.
98) I have always felt my hands look really masculine.
99) I have never broken any bones.
100) I won't name my worst fear on this list for fear it will come true.



( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 9th, 2002 12:47 am (UTC)
that was harder than i thought, towards the end there.
Sep. 9th, 2002 07:32 am (UTC)
That rules, though. Now I wanna do it, but I fear I will get bogged down in minutae.
Sep. 9th, 2002 11:05 pm (UTC)
there are no rules; if you write down a whole bunch of minutiae, so what! :)
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 9th, 2002 11:09 pm (UTC)
a friend did it, and i thought, that should be so easy! and then i had a slow night at work. you should do it to! i'd read 'em.

and frankly, i can imagine working in library storage would be really really nice right now. although, i don't miss the 30-foot shelving that was in the new storage building. 30 feet is high.
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 10th, 2002 10:22 pm (UTC)
yup, we had the huge forklift things, and we retrieved the books from trays that had barcodes on them as well as the books. barcoding those books and putting them in trays made for a long, long summer.
Sep. 9th, 2002 06:49 am (UTC)
Some items
16: Thanks
17: Never knew that
40: If you can remember that think about quitting
41: Don't ever join the Navy
76: We were suckered by the Robinsons

Suggested addition
101: I only ate steak and spaghetti for the first 10 years
Sep. 9th, 2002 11:09 pm (UTC)
Re: Some items
i ate fried chicken too!
Sep. 9th, 2002 09:43 am (UTC)
For whatever reason, I feel compelles to comment on every person who was inspired to do this after reading mine. It's always more challenging than they think! =-D
Sep. 9th, 2002 11:10 pm (UTC)
hee - i read Jorn's too but like, i don't know him so i didn't feel right commenting on anything.
Sep. 9th, 2002 10:41 am (UTC)
And the nominees are:
I didn't think you were a terrible actress... at least no worse than anyone else 8-) If nothing else, I always thought you usually would respond well to direction.

No one was particularly good during the second set of (incomplete) episodes. There was the large amount of alcohol consumed by nearly everyone (including the director). It was like no one really wanted to be there - and unfortunately, it shows in the (un)finished product. If the cast and crew aren't having fun, it'll usually show up in the performances. I know we all went in wanting to have fun... it just didn't happen - not sure where it broke down - but I guess I should take some blame as director.

BTW - it [the first three] wasn't that awful. I think it holds up pretty well, and is scarily better than much of what's made by the so-called "professionals".
Sep. 9th, 2002 11:17 am (UTC)
Hnh. Neat.

Sorry about the plane flight though. :)
Sep. 9th, 2002 06:05 pm (UTC)
#71, 83, 95 -- I can so totally relate to those (except for 71 -- that's more of a cold hard fact than a relating kinda deal). Also the grad school thing. Unfortunately I've come to realize that my schooling was horribly inadequate and that I need more of it to be competitive. That's a sucky realization at age 29. Sigh.

By the way, your dad rules.
Sep. 9th, 2002 11:42 pm (UTC)
What do you mean need more of it? Do you need more undergrad work to get into grad school? I am thinking that might be the case for me too, but there is not a cheap way to get involved with that. Also, I feel that I would have to choose the classes very carefully, and I'm not sure which way to go with it. I know it's hard to realize things that you want to do at 29 (or in my case 27, whatever, same diff) but I believe that they can still be done. I'll get to it... eventually. It would help if I would actually get around to paying off my student loans from my undergrad degree...
Sep. 10th, 2002 07:06 pm (UTC)
Bingo. I need more undergrad work, technically a second degree in another area to give me 1) a better idea of what I want to focus on as a grad student, and 2) to round out the knowledge I already had. But that's what you get for doing women's studies at a crap school, I guess ;)

What's your degree in, BTW?
Sep. 10th, 2002 10:20 pm (UTC)
Sociology. I wouldn't say I went to a crap school but it wasn't a good school for sociology. I had a few great professors but mostly at VA Tech sociology at the undergraduate level is pretty average. (I was about to say "at VA Tech soc at the undergrad level is for football players and the sorority girls who want to marry them" but I think that would be really insulting to all the serious soc students there.)

It sounds like you're right in the same place I am. We should still try! In the next year I'd like to try to maybe take one night course in chemistry to see if I could hack it in heavier science/medical school. I want to be a psychiatrist or a neurologist. I have NO background for it. :(
Sep. 10th, 2002 10:22 pm (UTC)
oh, and if all else fails, we can both go to law school with our crap degrees!
Sep. 10th, 2002 10:43 pm (UTC)
LOL!! That's so true.

Sociology *rules*. I wanted to double major in it, but decided not to because one of the high-level profs had a pretty major reputation for sexually harassing his female students. many, many complaints were made and nothing was ever done. I just didn't want to deal with it. Plus, my school was all about business, so the social sciences and humanities were hugely underfunded, and it showed. It was very, very sad.

Psychiatry? Rock on! My goal is to go back to school for psychology, hopefully next fall if all goes well...ah, is that Twighlight Zone theme music I'm hearing?

Sep. 10th, 2002 11:37 pm (UTC)
A friend of mine said at a party in passing recently that he thinks that people go into the field of psychology because they want therapy. Now, there's no doubt I like to analyze myself to death, but I HOPE my motives are a TINY bit less selfish and transparent than that.

What are your motives?
Sep. 11th, 2002 08:20 am (UTC)
I actually have two: 1)I'd like to be able to offer feminist therapy to women recovering from relationship violence (or other kinds of family violence) who are suffering from PTSD, because I think that looking at domestic violence in a larger context is extremely helpful, and 2) I'd also like to be able to get to "troubled" or gifted kids while they're still young, before they get bogged down by poor self-esteem and self-destructive behavior, and give them some kind of support that could help them believe in themselves more and do what they want with their lives.

Obviously I'm not entirely sure whether I want to work in the field of domestic violence or with kids. But I have awhile to decide. ;)

Oh, also, I have a sick fascination with personailty disorders and chronic mental illness. In fact, I understood I needed to to psych the moment that I realized that I'd bought the DSM IV *for fun*. Maybe I do need therapy. Heh heh.

What are your motives, oh though great and snidely one?
Sep. 11th, 2002 01:48 pm (UTC)
Though=thou, by the way.

Damn sleep deprivation.
Oct. 1st, 2002 03:56 am (UTC)
I kept meaning to answer your questions as to my motive and forgetting.

I feel like the brain/the mind are like the last great uncharted territories. Once we had the sea depths, then we had the vastness of outer space, now our biggest scientific challenge: who the hell are we, and why? are those even the right questions?

So that's kind of part of it. Plus, yeah, I have a sick fascination with craziness. And where that line is drawn... crazy, or different? Problem, or point of view? Fascinating!
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )


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