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Does anyone else have the problem that when you are really, really angry, just burning with fire and righteous fury, ready to rip a new asshole into the person that has wronged you or your loved ones, and so filled with conviction and seriousness that you want to open your mouth and rain burning verbal sparks on someone searing their very flesh, you find that what actually happens is that you open your mouth, your voice cracks, and you burst into tears? Yeah, it sucks. It has not happened to me today, but I was just reflecting on past times it has happened. Once when I was ready to fire someone during a summer job in college. He laughed at me. It sucked. Oh CHEDS, how I do not remember you fondly. Except working with Becki, that was cool. I hope Becki is doing okay, I really need to write her back. That is one of two letters that need to go out, that one and one to my cousin.

Last night I went to Tea early so I could eat before it was time to go home. I got to bed on time and I am not tired today! And had a little chat with dj_ango about cruelty, the military, and tear gas training that was interesting. And someone asked about my book at the bar - why do people always ask me about what I'm reading when I loathe it?

In the feminist online discussion arena, I posted an answer on We Have Brains that was kind of half-assed and not well thought out. Turns out Victoria, another contributor, had a much better conceptualization of the scope of the question, and thus a better answer, so I'll just link to that.

I can't pretend to be something I am not, and I can't really pretend not to be something that I am.

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Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
catsaurus
Feb. 11th, 2004 11:29 am (UTC)
Yep to the crying thing. It happens to me whenever I'm really, really angry. And it sucks, because I don't want to be crying, I want to be telling someone off with smart cutting remarks!

I wonder how you get that not to happen?
snidegrrl
Feb. 12th, 2004 08:19 am (UTC)
Re:
If I find out how to prevent it, I will let you know.
valancymay
Feb. 11th, 2004 12:23 pm (UTC)
This is exactly what happens to me when I am angry.
snidegrrl
Feb. 12th, 2004 08:19 am (UTC)
Re:
I'm glad to know I am not the only one.
spleenless
Feb. 11th, 2004 01:13 pm (UTC)
I know the feeling well. We are told from an early age that being angry is wrong, and no matter how much I know better, I still have that reaction. My way around is to research and be so on top of things that when I have a full out argument I am armed to the teeth. Not good for spur of the moment issues, bad for relationship issues.

Ah well. Fear the tears - if I'm that pissed someone better keep an eye on their back.

Jen
snidegrrl
Feb. 12th, 2004 08:21 am (UTC)
Re:
Sadly, along with the tears and the quavering voice, usually my brain kind of fritzes as well, and no matter how coherent or sober I was 5 minutes ago, I can't put the pieces of my argument back together; this was the case with the firing situation. I had ten very good reasons carefully enumerated as to why this person needed to be fired. But all I could do when it came time to explain them to him in no uncertain terms, I found myself sniveling. Whee!!

Fear the tears - if I'm that pissed someone better keep an eye on their back.

Right on.
ubet_cha
Feb. 11th, 2004 01:21 pm (UTC)
I rarely think of myself as a "witty" person, but when I'm angry, very angry it all comes out. Cutting and hurting people faster then I thought was possible. So now, since I've noticed I argue more with people I care about then strangers, when I'm that pissed off I try to listen more then speak.

I can't pretend to be something I am not, and I can't really pretend not to be something that I am.

Love that.
ex_fractals713
Feb. 11th, 2004 02:33 pm (UTC)
YES!! Oh my god.
I also start crying when I have to explain things that really shouldn't have to be explained.
snidegrrl
Feb. 12th, 2004 08:22 am (UTC)
Re:
Been there, done that...
painkiller
Feb. 11th, 2004 03:25 pm (UTC)
Given that all anger is misplaced fear, I think all people who are angry are a lot closer to tears that they realize.
eeedge
Feb. 12th, 2004 05:47 am (UTC)
Re:
Wow, that's a sweeping statement. I'm trying to decide still if I agree with it or not. (I know, you're going to lose a lot of sleep, too, until I make up my mind.)

My first inclination is to deny it. I'm very angry with my ex-landlord at the moment. But he has no way of hurting me and I'm not afraid of him at all. The anger is for injustice. Which, I suppose, could be a form a fear, if you're going to define fear very broadly...
painkiller
Feb. 12th, 2004 08:42 am (UTC)
Re:
The object you're angry @ usually isn't the object you're afraid of.

I mean, if someone cuts me off on the highway, I'm angry @ them [and that's completely valid], but I'm afraid that my car is going to be damaged.

Sometimes we don't know what we're afraid of, but I still would stand by my statement.
oontzgrrl
Feb. 11th, 2004 03:44 pm (UTC)
Yes. I am a white hot source of burning righteous rage a lot and the angrier and more frustrated etc I become the more likely I am to cry. In fact I cry more often from anger then from sadness. Its lame. Because I don't feel as though I am making my angry point very well when my eyes are leaking.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 11th, 2004 05:01 pm (UTC)
I was reading Victoria's post, and she seemed to want to draw a distinction between pornography as "idealized/perfected" versions of bodies, and depictions of ordinary/imperfect nude people (like "Calendar Girls", the movie) which seems to be OK.

I (a male) actually have never been a big fan of the American concept of "idealized/perfected" women. The few times I've been to strip clubs (mainly bachelor/ette parties), I've noticed I actually get kind of squicked by the women who go so far with makeup and fake breasts as to actually look female "beyond female," which always strikes me as going over the edge of femaleness and into the land of transvestism. Of course, sometimes they are transvestites, which I'm not trying to say is bad, but just squicks me personally. But then they are women who look like transvestites. And all these guys really dig that. And I'm like, whoa, I'm squicked! Please, I'd prefer more "imperfect" women at strip clubs...
snidegrrl
Feb. 12th, 2004 08:24 am (UTC)
Re:
I'd prefer no strip clubs.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

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