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today and reading list

today i went to target and bought a dust buster and a new tiny stereo. then i went to weis and bought everything i needed but bread because somehow i had hallucinated that i put it in the basket. probably while i was dancing down the aisles because they played "something so strong" on the piped in music station. then i called jack and sounded pitiful at him. then i called my mom and we argued about marriage. she seems to think that you have to get relationships in writing or else they are not valid, while i have moral/political problems with an capitulating to institution that will not acknowledge same-sex couples. then i took a tylenol PM and turned on FotR tape ten because i knew i would not sleep otherwise. then i woke up and started to pay bills for my "knitting night" activity but got too caught up in discussion to actually write the checks. i looked at jack's new car and then i came to work just in time to be the last person able to order a mocha at cosi. those bastards have started closing at like, 10:55. now i am at work and it is very, very slow. i have a dilemma about the training budget issue, in that my apathy drives me from wanting training, however my desire to keep this job drives me toward it. chewing on my palm stylus like a toothpick makes me feel like i'm thinking harder than i actually am.

this is the list of reading i must pledge to catch up on:

*the second sex - simone de beauvoir
*the feminine mystique - betty freidan
manifesta - jennifer baumgardner et al.
the beauty myth - naomi wolff
*backlash - susan faludi
outrageous acts and everyday rebellions - gloria steinem
ain't i a woman - bell hooks
our bodies, our selves
*the female eunuch - germaine greer
sexual politics - kate millett
toward a feminist theory of the state - catherine a. mackinnon
gyn/ecology - mary daly
against our will - susan brownmiller

i keep arguing with myself as to whether i need to go back further and include wollstonecraft, engels, john stuart mill... i just know that if i haven't finished these by NOW what are my hopes of finishing them even within the next two years??? stars indicate books i already own and do not have to procure.

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( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
swartzdk
Feb. 14th, 2003 04:55 am (UTC)
Relationships
There is a whole big difference between relationships and marriage per se. The anti written agreement is nothing new. The argument has been around alot longer than I have. History has proven that if two people really have a thing going demonstrating that by marriage or whatever you want to call it proves to all a commitment. Any other method leaves the door open to disaster. The "Me" generation seem to be experts at walking out the door at the drop of a hat. Not a nice way to live. Commitment forces people to weather the rough spots and grow from there. Those of us who have been married for a long time can testify to it.
cheetahmaster
Feb. 14th, 2003 05:44 am (UTC)
Heh, my mom asked if I got RQ an engagement ring for Valentine's Day. asdjfdsa;j

My opinion remains the same. If I am dedicated enough to stay with someone for the rest of my life, then a piece of paper won't matter either way.

That combined with the frustration over the governmental bureaucratic mess the whole thing has become, and the inequality it enforces as a result. Why does the government decide which living arrangements are more permanent and 'right'? Anyways.
dharshai
Feb. 14th, 2003 12:13 pm (UTC)
Hrmph.
I think we've had plenty of this conversation in the past! Anyway, I'm agreeing with swartzie up top. We have a serious issue in the country with people taking the easy way out when things aren't 100%. It's the old adage, "This is too hard, let's give up." With our country in particular, the world is becoming more and more litigious and people seem to think they are entitled to screw someone over just because the relationship didn't work out. The 'all for me' mindset has me completely on edge.

I honestly think it should be a lot harder to get divorced. AND a lot harder to get married. I'm not talking about tests for competency, but a process. There needs to be certain processes before people get divorced. Seperation for one year. My ass. You don't live with that person anymore. You aren't even TRYING to get back together. Somethings are really hard to do and are worth it if you succeed. Marriage is the same way. That legal tie just makes people think before they decided to go ahead with the divorce. I'm probably rambling, for which I apologize.

Just like all things in life, everything in moderation. Relationships are good when people are healthy, have a good communication, and work hard. Relationships are bad when people stop listening to each other, betray their trust, and any number of a other factors. Condemning marriages in general gets us no where. Condemn the people who aren't interested in putting in the time for relationships that work.
andthesparrows
Feb. 14th, 2003 06:41 am (UTC)
I really liked the second sex--I had to read it for a philosophy class in college, but I started reading it and finishing it before the class even started!
Hmm...I think I need to re-read that again, too...
valancymay
Feb. 14th, 2003 07:55 am (UTC)
mmmmmm, John Stuart Mill.
malkin
Feb. 14th, 2003 09:32 am (UTC)
Tell your mom to look at the divorce rate. Getting things "in writing" doesn't mean a damn thing. The relationship is what matters, and each one is different.
thezerosystem
Feb. 14th, 2003 06:14 pm (UTC)
My mother is the same way. I figure that eventually, if I am consistant enough in my reasoning, she will let up. Maybe. :) I'm also of the "why the hell do you need a piece of damn paper to prove I love you" and of course, the fact that only certain types of people and relationships are given the right to marry legally. What I find most interesting is just how deep seated marriage is in our culture--marriage and pressure to marry is everywhere from movies to tv to your own family...and often for all the wrong reasons. I did a research project on marriage and gender last semester, and the more information I found on marriage the less I ever wanted to support that kind of institution. It is hard because so many people do get married, and so many more want it...they will defend it to the death, and sends a whole other message. But anyways, I'm rambling. :) This site might be interesting for you:

http://www.unmarried.org/
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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